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离去
夏林
童生


Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
Location: 加拿大
夏林Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-19 20:32:01    Post subject: 离去 Reply with quote

离去
夏林

我含泪带笑地宣称
我离开了那大风肆虐的寒带城市

那里的风
因你而生动 更肆虐了

那里的诗
干而白 冷峻
不带甜美的形容词
实质的实质
成就了纯粹的诗

在那个城里
我虚空的身体 走来走去
我的心 凝聚不成钻石

似乎有一阵 我的忧戚、浮躁和不坦然
对着你
放下了

但我注定要走到山穷水远的地方
把自己隐藏
遥想过去和未来

如今我住在一个温暖的地方
是我的向往
我对自己期许
要积极 对生活微笑
举止适中 体态优雅
勤擦灰尘 慢慢地变老
说一些废话

空寂之时 我不保证
不想起大风中的 你
和绝望的诗
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-19 20:42:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

我对自己期许
要积极 对生活微笑
举止适中 体态优雅
勤擦灰尘 慢慢地变老

在平静的生活之中,我们的内心可以很丰富多彩的
因为我们有记忆, 有想象
可以有风暴, 或者其他什么的
真美好呀
Very Happy
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夏林
童生


Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
Location: 加拿大
夏林Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-19 21:45:36    Post subject: 生活多美好 Reply with quote

终于明白了, 原来是这样回复.
这么快就能升版主啊 Laughing
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-19 22:38:12    Post subject: Re: 生活多美好 Reply with quote

夏林 wrote:
终于明白了, 原来是这样回复.
这么快就能升版主啊 Laughing


进步很快呀
请你在西方文学版做版主
Very Happy
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维鹿延
秀才


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 212
Location: 中国广东
维鹿延Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-20 01:22:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好。
此诗给我的感觉有点拖。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-21 08:06:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

欢迎夏林, 问好
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夏林
童生


Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 23
Location: 加拿大
夏林Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-21 19:43:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

楼上各位,你们好!我争取多写一点,再多发言.
一天到晚孤家寡人的,有什么意思呢?
我这是批评自己.

写得有点拖,是倒数第二段吧.这一段是强作镇静,为了衬托最后的悲情.
Anyway,让诗说话就行了,不应罗罗嗦嗦多解释.

谢谢你们!尤其,和平岛,帮我很多.
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