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[原创]整整一千年
品玉
秀才


Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-03 18:31:16    Post subject: [原创]整整一千年 Reply with quote

黄沙寒烟,红裙尘染.菏琶依依,微动梦莲.

整整一千年......
你站在对岸
截断的风丝
露出你的臂弯
你漫步向红裙飘扬的地方走来

她是你前世的新娘
那夜的渔火还在船头低语
为你点亮的油灯,伴你
漂流南洋

她等了
一个夜晚
一个白天
一个金晨
一个黄昏
整整一千年

一片叶子将你
带到荒芜的上空
你是否看到她苍白的纹理间
写着深深的思念
你的腰间是否还紧系
别离时她送你的香囊

梨花洒满荒芜
叹皱万倾天海波澜
拉起洁白的帷帘
一句:渡口那次回眸
那次擦肩
......
一句:整整一千年
......
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孤独的执烛者,在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口~~~~~
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 06:35:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

深深的思念 .
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 06:49:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

她是你前世的新娘
那夜的渔火还在船头低语
为你点亮的油灯,伴你
漂流南洋

挺美的意境~问好!
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 10:33:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

深情地朗诵诗 :))

品玉可以学学 倒装写法来创造一些 新的意境 。。。

品玉 我们一起交流好吗?

。。
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品玉
秀才


Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-04 18:22:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢斑竹的点评!
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
感谢半溪明月

她是你前世的新娘
那夜的渔火还在船头低语
为你点亮的油灯,伴你
漂流南洋

挺美的意境~问好! Laughing Laughing
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同时非常愿意能与kokho学习与交流 Laughing 我可是个笨学生啊 Laughing
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孤独的执烛者,在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口~~~~~
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-05 00:20:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

《倒装版》

黄沙寒烟,红裙尘染.菏琶依依,微动梦莲.

整整一千年.....
对岸截断的风丝露出臂弯
水漫步向红裙飘扬的地方走来

前世的新娘 还在船头低语
那夜的渔火 点亮的油灯,伴谁
漂流到南洋

等了 一个夜晚 一个白天
一个金晨 一个黄昏
整整一千年

一片叶子到了荒芜的上空
是否看到 谁苍白的纹理间
写着深深的思念?
腰间是否还紧系 别离时谁送你的香囊

梨花洒满荒芜 叹皱万倾天海波澜
拉起洁白的帷帘 一句:渡口那次回眸
那次擦肩
......
一句:整整一千年
......
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-05 19:39:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

深情之表现诠释
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品玉
秀才


Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-05 21:01:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

《倒装版》

黄沙寒烟,红裙尘染.菏琶依依,微动梦莲.

整整一千年.....
对岸截断的风丝露出臂弯
水漫步向红裙飘扬的地方走来

前世的新娘 还在船头低语
那夜的渔火 点亮的油灯,伴谁
漂流到南洋

等了 一个夜晚 一个白天
一个金晨 一个黄昏
整整一千年

一片叶子到了荒芜的上空
是否看到 谁苍白的纹理间
写着深深的思念?
腰间是否还紧系 别离时谁送你的香囊

梨花洒满荒芜 叹皱万倾天海波澜
拉起洁白的帷帘 一句:渡口那次回眸
那次擦肩
......
一句:整整一千年
......
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌


kokho:
非常感谢!!!!!!!!!!!!
你的《倒装版》给我更为凝重的感觉!!!!!!!!!!!!我一定 Laughing 努力学 Laughing 习!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing
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孤独的执烛者,在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口~~~~~
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-06 05:44:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

继续努力!问好!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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品玉
秀才


Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-09 18:26:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢!!!我会努力的!!!!!!!!!!!
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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PostPosted: 2007-08-13 01:31:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

大家一起学习 ;)

。。
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寒雪
童生


Joined: 13 Aug 2007
Posts: 12

寒雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-13 04:50:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surprised
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兰天
童生


Joined: 13 Aug 2007
Posts: 11

兰天Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-13 07:38:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy
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朱文
童生


Joined: 13 Aug 2007
Posts: 10

朱文Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-13 21:25:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile
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