韩少君 进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 2558 Location: 吉林四平 韩少君Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 14:54:04 Post subject: 旧诗新贴 <<热爱姑娘>> |
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热爱姑娘
农具已被摧毁
每一个家庭都残缺不全
北方的早春三月
我们在一片荒土上沉思
这时,我们非常想念爱情
想念姑娘的歌声
可爱的姑娘的歌声被春潮淹没
使我们的狂想
不断地压迫天空
我们重新建立起劳动的秩序
守望家园
不准流浪
不准放逐
我们要生个象样的女孩
为诗歌
培养高贵的情人
摧毁我们自己
去给最爱的女人阅读
让那双最爱我们的手
由于失血而愈加美丽
当第一个姑娘长大时
我们学会歌唱
春天来了
别让诗人喝得太多
(1993.3.3)
(1993.3.3) _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
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hepingdao Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 19:43:13 Post subject: |
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这个比海子的面朝大海更积极
我也建议加精
 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 19:47:16 Post subject: |
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黄牌警告
不好, 这玫瑰扎手
这首诗歌写的是挺好的.
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nobody 进士出身
Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 2651 Location: Madtown nobodyCollection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 20:47:41 Post subject: |
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那就不要象大姑娘一样羞羞答答了:) _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you? |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-01 21:22:14 Post subject: |
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够爽快的性格,学习诗歌~问好少君!
当第一个姑娘长大时
我们学会歌唱 |
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爱松 秀才
Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 208 Location: 中国昆明 爱松Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 00:41:17 Post subject: |
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我们要生个象样的女孩
为诗歌
培养高贵的情人
读来特舒服,好,提! |
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白帆 童生
Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 12
白帆Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 07:14:33 Post subject: |
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kino 秀才
Joined: 23 Dec 2006 Posts: 411 Location: beijing kinoCollection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 18:09:57 Post subject: |
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如果形式上能够在好一点,就很完美了。
欣赏~~ |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 19:57:11 Post subject: |
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的确好诗,学习了!恩,我也觉得有几节的排版上感觉不很好,需要调整。比如三节,特别是四节,太突兀了的感觉。 |
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溪语 秀才
Joined: 16 Mar 2007 Posts: 509 Location: 中国恩施 溪语Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-02 20:10:55 Post subject: |
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生活的赞美之声! _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西 |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
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郭兴军 童生
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 96 Location: 中国陕西 郭兴军Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-03 18:23:44 Post subject: |
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再支持一把“热爱的姑娘”! _________________ 胜者为王。 |
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韩少君 进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 2558 Location: 吉林四平 韩少君Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-05 05:37:32 Post subject: |
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感谢各位支持!汗颜! _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
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金金 进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2035 Location: 山东济宁 金金Collection |
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郭兴军 童生
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 96 Location: 中国陕西 郭兴军Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-09 05:11:48 Post subject: |
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毛遂自荐,信心十足,提读欣赏! _________________ 胜者为王。 |
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韩少君 进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 2558 Location: 吉林四平 韩少君Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-11 16:21:03 Post subject: |
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谢金金、谢郭兴军关注。
我是传统抒情方式的捍卫者。当然,不抵触任何新的、现代的流派。
问好! _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
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huamei 童生
Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 13
huameiCollection |
Posted: 2007-08-12 01:12:14 Post subject: |
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huamei 童生
Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 13
huameiCollection |
Posted: 2007-08-12 01:12:32 Post subject: |
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佳佳 童生
Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 17
佳佳Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-12 06:57:22 Post subject: |
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博弈 榜眼
Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 4381 Location: SFO 博弈Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-12 07:33:35 Post subject: |
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I see. _________________ (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美) |
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