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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

旧诗新贴 <<热爱姑娘>>

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韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-08-01 14:54:04 Post subject: 旧诗新贴 <<热爱姑娘>>

热爱姑娘农具已被摧毁每一个家庭都残缺不全北方的早春三月我们在一片荒土上沉思这时,我们非常想念爱情想念姑娘的歌声可爱的姑娘的歌声被春潮淹没使我们的狂想不断地压迫天空我们重新建立起劳动的秩序守望家园不准流浪不准放逐我们要生个象样的女孩为诗歌培养高贵的情人摧毁我们自己去给最爱的女人阅读让那双最爱我们的手由于失血而愈加美丽当第一个姑娘长大时我们学会歌唱春天来了别让诗人喝得太多 (1993.3.3) (1993.3.3) _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-08-01 19:43:13 Post subject:

这个比海子的面朝大海更积极我也建议加精 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-08-01 19:47:16 Post subject:

黄牌警告不好, 这玫瑰扎手这首诗歌写的是挺好的.

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-08-01 20:47:41 Post subject:

那就不要象大姑娘一样羞羞答答了：） _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-08-01 21:22:14 Post subject:

够爽快的性格，学习诗歌~问好少君！当第一个姑娘长大时我们学会歌唱

爱松
秀才

Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 208
Location: 中国昆明
爱松Collection

Posted: 2007-08-02 00:41:17 Post subject:

我们要生个象样的女孩为诗歌培养高贵的情人读来特舒服，好，提！

白帆
童生

Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 12

白帆Collection

Posted: 2007-08-02 07:14:33 Post subject:

kino
秀才

Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection

Posted: 2007-08-02 18:09:57 Post subject:

如果形式上能够在好一点，就很完美了。欣赏~~

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-08-02 19:57:11 Post subject:

的确好诗，学习了！恩，我也觉得有几节的排版上感觉不很好，需要调整。比如三节，特别是四节，太突兀了的感觉。

溪语
秀才

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2007-08-02 20:10:55 Post subject:

生活的赞美之声! _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-08-03 15:27:02 Post subject:

好像是略有删改。应为诗的再生！！问候少君！！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

郭兴军
童生

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 96
Location: 中国陕西
郭兴军Collection

Posted: 2007-08-03 18:23:44 Post subject:

再支持一把“热爱的姑娘”！ _________________ 胜者为王。

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-08-05 05:37:32 Post subject:

感谢各位支持！汗颜！ _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-08-05 19:44:01 Post subject:

顶！喜欢这诗：） _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

郭兴军
童生

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 96
Location: 中国陕西
郭兴军Collection

Posted: 2007-08-09 05:11:48 Post subject:

毛遂自荐，信心十足，提读欣赏！ _________________ 胜者为王。

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-08-11 16:21:03 Post subject:

谢金金、谢郭兴军关注。我是传统抒情方式的捍卫者。当然，不抵触任何新的、现代的流派。问好！ _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

huamei
童生

Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Posts: 13

huameiCollection

Posted: 2007-08-12 01:12:14 Post subject:

huamei
童生

Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Posts: 13

huameiCollection

Posted: 2007-08-12 01:12:32 Post subject:

佳佳
童生

Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Posts: 17

佳佳Collection

Posted: 2007-08-12 06:57:22 Post subject:

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-08-12 07:33:35 Post subject:

I see. _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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