（原创）青霉素女神之垂暮/Lady Penicillin In Her Dotage

[yinxiaoyuan]

原创双语诗一首，请各位老师赐教。

Lady Penicillin In Her Dotage
On the peninsula-shaped tundra at the back of the world’s brain,
Malformed phantoms were knotted together like carved roots with dainty curves,
She stood coughing in the chilly wind, with her bony hands on her cane,
Using her bound feet she dug out some poisoned veins and nerves.

Yesterday she took back her scythe from a ruffian called Death,
But not the interest -the promised satin to shroud the shriveled land.
Instead she got wisps of silk lighter than mist that danced to her rhythm of breath,
That foamed up over the bony ridges decorated with shiny mauve sand.

She weaved them into braids，fastened to them hooks without bait,
And fished from underground caverns which took the shape of ozone holes.
In the hope of luring out conflicting chemicals hibernating inside mankind’ fate,
Where viruses and bacteria thrashed upstream like fishes in giant shoals.

Her fluttering snowy hair were frozen into the clouds even whiter,
Like blue-flowered Eichhornia crassipes entangled in its own illusions.
With her last ounce of strength she detonated herself like a desperate fighter,
And the whole insubstantial mirage of catastrophes perished like delusions.


青霉素女神之垂暮
地球后脑枕叶的半岛形苔原带上，
狰狞的幻影连绵相藉，像曲线蜿蜒的根雕，
她独对着悲风咳嗽,嶙峋的指间藤杖欲坠,
用三寸金莲掘出被毒蚀的经脉和神经。

昨天她从一个叫“死神”的狂徒那里收回镰刀，
却没能拿到允诺的利息——用来做枯皱大地殓衣的锦缎，
只带回几束山岚般随风律动的生丝，
它们的泡沫漫过那些紫沙煜耀的峻峭山脊。

她将它们纺成辫束，系上无饵的鱼钩，
在酷似臭氧空洞的地下溶洞中垂钓。
想从人类命运中诱出那些休眠的互不相容的元素，
那里，病毒和细菌逆流而上，像庞大的鱼群。

她凛冽在风中的白发凝固在更不沾纤尘的云中,
像蓝花的水葫芦和它们的影子纠缠不休。
她用最后的力气引爆了自己，宛如悲壮的战士，
那些缥缈的劫难都像幻觉随她灰飞烟灭。

[Lake]

Nice one. Dense in content, lines are a bit too long for the eye.
Just my thought.

Thanks for sharing.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[kokho]

厉害得狠 ！！ 欢迎新朋友

lake 这个倒行很高的
LAKE 你先上。。。

我去泡茶 招待朋友







_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[戴玨]

[yinxiaoyuan]

Lake:Thank you for your advice!

[yinxiaoyuan]

多谢戴玨老师的指教，将诗稿修改如下：

Lady Penicillin In Her Dotage
On the peninsula-shaped tundra at the back of the world’s brain,
Malformed phantoms were knotted together like carved roots with dainty curves,
She stood coughing in the chilly wind, with her bony hands on her cane,
Using her bound feet she dug out some poisoned veins and nerves.

Yesterday she took back her scythe from a ruffian called Death,
But not the interest -the promised satin to shroud the shriveled land.
Instead she got wisps of silk lighter than mist that danced to her rhythm of breath,
That foamed up over the bony ridges decorated with shiny mauve sand.

She weaved them into braids，fastened to them hooks without bait,
And fished from underground caverns which took the shape of ozone holes.
In the hope of luring out conflicting chemicals hibernating inside mankind’ fate,
Where viruses and bacteria thrashed upstream like fishes in amazing shoals.

Her fluttering snowy hair were frozen into the clouds even whiter,
Like blue-flowered Eichhornia crassipes entangled in its own illusions.
With her last ounce of strength she detonated herself like a desperate fighter,
And the whole mirage of catastrophes perished like delusions.


青霉素女神之垂暮
地球后脑枕叶的半岛形苔原带上，
狰狞的幻影连绵相藉，像曲线蜿蜒的根雕，
她独对着悲风咳嗽,嶙峋的指间藤杖欲坠,
用三寸金莲掘出被毒蚀的经脉和神经。

昨天她从一个叫“死神”的狂徒那里收回镰刀，
却没能拿到允诺的利息——用来做枯皱大地殓衣的锦缎，
只带回几束山岚般随她吐纳兰麝而律动的生丝，
它们的泡沫漫过那些紫沙煜耀的峻峭山脊。

她将它们纺成辫束，系上无饵的鱼钩，
在酷似臭氧空洞的地下溶洞中垂钓。
想从人类命运中诱出那些休眠的互不相容的元素，
那里，病毒和细菌逆流而上，像壮观的鱼群。

她翻掣风中的白发凝固在更不沾纤尘的云中,
像蓝花的水葫芦和它们的影子纠缠不休。
她用最后的力气引爆了自己，宛如悲壮的战士，
那些劫难都像幻觉随她灰飞烟灭。

[Lake]

Kokho 先歇着，我去你的货柜弄几个方西瓜来。
你和yinxiaoyuan 讨论，我抢座，坐前排认真学习。




_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[William Zhou周道模]

all of you are so interesting!
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[yinxiaoyuan]

感谢各位捧场！今后我还会更多的拜访北美枫，将拙作贴在论坛，听取大家的宝贵意见。

[kino]

功底深厚。我倒觉得，如果渲染得空灵，虚幻，或者恐怖，则效果更好。

[yinxiaoyuan]

感谢版主评论。

实际上，我也非常喜欢渲染抽象、恐怖、黑暗的气氛。
只是诗可压缩的空间似乎比较有限。
我在这类主旋律的小说里（长篇，还有短篇英文的）
做得要好些。
也许因为我写小说的历史比诗长得多。
不知道是否有可发表这类作品的地方？
如有，能否劳驾推荐一下？

（我发现投到美国的小说一般都要求附回邮票，
而北京根本买不到。所以从来没收到过回信。
看来他们在这方面制度挺严格的。）

[kino]

投稿国外，我倒是没有经验，也不太了解，不过如果你愿意，你可以发到本论坛的小说板块。这里很多人都在国外，你可以请教一下他们。

[yinxiaoyuan]

多谢！
不过冒昧的问一句，
《北美枫》纸媒介杂志也发表小说吗？
或者说，发表的版面多吗？
我比较希望把小说发表在纸媒介的刊物或报纸上。。。

[kino]

有小说版面，版面相对于诗歌是少一些，仿佛以前的精品太少，第三期又作了压缩。

[yinxiaoyuan]

非常感谢！
我会试试。

[kino]

好的, 祝你成功, 盼望早日拜读你的小说作品.

[yinxiaoyuan]

欢迎有兴趣的朋友阅读我的原创小说。
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?p=33738#33738

[kokho]

朋友　多来玩　；）


_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌