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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

辘轳．女人．狗

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白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 04:14:33 Post subject:

阿依琼裙 wrote:

简短，很深很美的意境，喜欢！

谢依依喜欢

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 04:16:04 Post subject:

冷水 wrote:

浅寐，　未央
之夜无声, 辘轳无声，女人
无声
汪汪轻吠，如涌

欣赏你的座右铭, 大智若愚.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 04:19:52 Post subject:

伤城 wrote:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

伤城 wrote:

女人不是辘轳，还有篱笆和狗。
精致的小诗。好。深处的心

问好伤城. 近来怎么不见你的诗歌?

注意力没放在诗上吧.哈哈
Smile

没有诗情的时候是怎么也写不出的.

所以你就用黑眼睛看蓝宝石 Confused

上城
进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 07:16:17 Post subject:

“黑眼睛看蓝宝石”可比我那两句有诗意哟哎，被你问起，弄两首交差。 _________________ 每个诗人都很重要

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 10:47:09 Post subject:

偶来现代诗歌,谁说现代诗歌淡而无味,白水将辘轳女人和狗非常巧妙地联系在一起,意蕴深,不浅露.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 19:20:37 Post subject:

伤城 wrote:

“黑眼睛看蓝宝石”可比我那两句有诗意哟
哎，被你问起，弄两首交差。

交差也能写出精彩, 该赞一个 Very Happy

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-07-20 19:21:44 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

偶来现代诗歌,谁说现代诗歌淡而无味,白水将辘轳女人和狗非常巧妙地
联系在一起,意蕴深,不浅露.

谢谢黄老师鼓励

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-07-22 21:07:15 Post subject:

好怀旧啊 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-07-25 23:03:34 Post subject:

轻灵，别致。同意和平岛的建议。 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

戴玨
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection

Posted: 2007-07-26 00:45:59 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

地心深处:

改成：

深处的心 Laughing

有同感，更加形象！
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄

kino
秀才

Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection

Posted: 2007-07-26 01:35:34 Post subject:

辘轳放不开的是你　紧紧地拽，　拽不住的绳．千年的古井可有源头？你固执的走，　向地心深处 __ 最喜欢这一节

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-07-27 06:09:35 Post subject:

三位一体，相互映衬。每一节最后的句子很耐读。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

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