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成长枣树间
舒中
秀才


Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 133

舒中Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-18 16:42:16    Post subject: 成长枣树间 Reply with quote

成长枣树间

舒中



北方的枣树真多啊!过了长江直抵燕赵,无论丘陵还是平川,枣树随处可见.房前屋后,地头渠畔,或成林,或几株,无不郁郁苍苍,生机盎然.长者碗口粗细,饱经沧桑却不老态龙钟;幼者才逾手指,稚气未脱已然铁骨英姿.看到这些枣树,你才深入到北方,呼吸到北方的坚韧与豪放,触摸到北方的苦痛和想往.枣树啊,千百年的光阴,静静地和北方血脉相连,呼吸与共,撑开北方的天空,婉如北方的脊梁.

我们就在枣树间成长.

儿时的乡村是贫瘠的,但是到处洋溢着欢乐和自足.荷锄归来的人,多象院落中的枣树啊,默默无闻,日复一日重复着单调的生活.可是枣树每天都有新叶绽开,农人也总有新的喜悦从眉宇间闪烁.更何况,累累枣子挂满枝头的时候,农人和枣树一起,对大地感恩戴德.并且由近及远,从物到人,朴素的情怀飞过两千年.<诗经.凯风>说:"凯风自南,吹彼棘心.棘心夭夭,母氏劬劳".温暖的南风吹过枣林,从茂盛的枝叶间,儿女找到了母亲的辛劳.沧海桑田,枣树依然蓬勃,我们的道德和良心一脉相传.

用无欲则刚来形容枣树是很恰当的.枣树象它的主人一样并不喜欢争名夺利和抛头露面.当地农谚说"枣发芽,种棉花".枣树发芽落在杨柳之后,好象对春天的感觉稍嫌迟钝了.就是那满树琐碎淡黄的枣花也不惹人瞩目.好在枣花蜜成为蜂蜜里的上品,为人津津乐道.枣树生长缓慢,木质坚实.这才使得它傲然雨雪风霜的洗礼,把根扎进生活的深处.从没有枣树被狂风暴雨摧折,偶尔有枝桠弯了断了,一定是为了满树果实.枣树此时心甘情愿.有位叫杨孟舟的诗人看到枣满枝头,人争抢摘.他感叹到"我来不忍临风食,为忆当时种树人".是啊,无论树还是人,都把成长与收获淡化成生命的环节.正是在无意识的成长劳作中,旁观者才为奉献而动容.

满树的枣子啊,我们如何处之?<礼记>说:"子事父母,妇事舅姑,枣栗饴蜜以甘之".感谢先人的垂范吧!我们也把香甜的枣子捧给父母,送给亲人,让他们品味甘美,享受真情.而我们的长辈,又在我们新婚大喜之际,将枣栗馈赠过来,如今亦然.殷殷希冀自不必说,就是枣啊,随我们一起生生不息.有枣树的地方,就有道德和情怀迎风招展.那是红尘当中,最美的一枝.
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-24 04:36:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

我们就在枣树间成长....这句有力.
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施伟
童生


Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 12

施伟Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-24 05:21:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

回味无穷,欣赏了
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-06 18:52:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

优点我就不说了。因为优点你也知道,说多了只能使你高兴,不利于你的进步。有两点意见供参考:1、标题意味是写“我”或“我们”在枣树间成长的过程,但通篇却是写枣、赞美枣,可改标题; 2、如果要提高艺术感染力,应该有具体的人物、故事、细节,就是对枣树的刻画都显粗略,还可更细更全更生动。
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竹林君
童生


Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 13

竹林君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-09 11:01:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

同意William Zhou周道模的观点哈
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世间百媚,唯竹最青
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华山
童生


Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 11

华山Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-14 03:38:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy
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