Maple Review :: View topic - ●性，或者女人●

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

●性，或者女人●

郭全华
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Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection

Posted: 2007-07-02 23:59:10 Post subject: ●性，或者女人●

●性，或者女人● 01 一条路收拢了你你又被一个女人收拢从她身体里一点一点把美丽抽出 02 浑身燥热，身体里波动着原野在原地不动，所有美女都可以安全但事实不是这样 03 性像墨水，一旦泼到肌体里即使你搬动阳光和邪恶也无法除掉，这点像病毒 04 你足够大了。大到可以完整地看一个小女孩长出风骚，看到她成为锋利的金钩，借此钓起时代 05 你能看到金瓶梅，值得羡慕的是你提前了30年。如今书摊的封面比金瓶梅的内文鲜艳多了 06 我有力气。他也一样但我们都不是你的对手我选择让开，春天总是这样拂过我的脸 07 城市没有沟。所有的不平都被钢筋水泥化我知道你从不担心自己是否老去。女郎款款你只用在下水道上铺红地毯，撒鲜花 08 其实每个人都只能在快乐或者痛苦中消耗。你永远无法获取；之前是期待与渴望之后是目光的衰老与疾病 09 你还可能看到旋涡。你永远生活在性的包围圈里。但是你固执地认为城市的夜晚很高很高，你不会被淹没 10 路总有掐断的那一天。方向也可以焚烧掉一个女人从感性到理性总是用你的整个生命行程做引导 _________________ 借助诗歌，努力把自己活成一棵树，白天向上，夜里向下．

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-07-03 00:32:56 Post subject:

喜欢1，9。有一种未息的火，整体。 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-07-03 06:39:10 Post subject:

郭老师的爱情诗也写得了得~欣赏!

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-07-03 13:46:41 Post subject:

写的好！！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-07-03 15:07:29 Post subject:

性,是美丽的物质,也是美丽的精神. 我们的存在以"性"为标志. "性",本也.我们心中灿烂的花朵. 这类诗不好写,常常费力不讨好! _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-07-03 15:27:33 Post subject:

写成10节，太长了，所以也过于水。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

郭全华
秀才

Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection

Posted: 2007-07-03 20:15:17 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

写成10节，太长了，所以也过于水。

请问您读了吗?
_________________
借助诗歌，努力把自己活成一棵树，白天向上，夜里向下．

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-07-03 23:17:30 Post subject:

02 浑身燥热，身体里波动着原野在原地不动，所有美女都可以安全但事实不是这样。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

kino
秀才

Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection

Posted: 2007-07-04 16:46:15 Post subject:

语言表述上还可以提炼。个人感觉～

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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