jemmy
秀才
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection |
 Posted: 2007-06-06 21:32:26 Post subject: 宇宙风光无限(双语） |
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宇宙风光无限(双语）
黄娟
上天不仅仅是嫦娥的心愿
当我进入宇宙
恐惧和幸福同时交缠
有天我也许可以自由如一只鸟
体验无限空间
一步步走向未知的感觉真是妙不可言
人类受着多少制约
而我们又能作多少改变
我或者比预计中要多许多弱点
当我发觉太空还不能成为我的家园
当我发觉蔚蓝色地球上的生活日益成为一种强烈怀念
因为爱
我还是渴望回到人间
当然我总是要回来的
离开的时候我就已感觉到我生命的重力源
回到你身边的欲望如同离开时的心情一样迫切
当我飞越四十多公里的黑障区
与你几分钟的音信隔绝使我心煎
当然，我也感受到了爱的辉煌壮烈
在火的包围中我如同跨越凡界
神圣，纯洁
如果不是因为离开我都不知道人间真的有绝恋
爱情真的有无上誓言
感觉我已超越极限
我但愿我们有天能够一起上天
如同这是一段长假旅行
我将向你指点我曾经的路线
宇宙风光无限
The Cosinos's Sight Is Limitless
by huangjuan
Going up to the sky isn't only Chenger's wish
When I come into cosmos
Fearing and happiness interweave simuitaneously
One day maybe I would really free like a bird
Practice limitless space
The sence going to unknown step by step is really too wonderful for
words
How much is mankind subjected to restrict
And how much can we go to change
Maybe I have much weakness then I expect
When I found space still couldn't be my home
When I found the blue globe's life become a strong think of day by
day
Because love
I still thirst for back the world
Certainly I would back after all
When I left I was fealing the gravity's source of my life already
The wish coming back your side is as urgent as the feeling when
I left
While I flew through the more then 40 kilometer's the blackout area
The several minutes is0lateding with you made me anxious
Certainly,I also felt the brilliant and heroic of love
Surrouding by the fire I as if strided across the mortal world
Sacred,clean and honest
If I didn't leave
I didn't know there is real absolute love in the world
Love real have supreme oaths
Feeling I had surpassed the limit
I wish we would fly to the space together one day
As if this is a long holidays tour
I would give you directions the route I had flown
The Cosmos's sight is limitless |
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韩少君
进士出身
Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-06 21:49:35 Post subject: |
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物质的冰冷使人想到生命的温暖。而生命的危机还能让我们想到什么更温暖。我们共同拥有的物质就是地球、宇宙、大自然。
十分羡慕双语诗人。问好！
_________________
靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
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hepingdao
Site Admin
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-06-07 08:16:51 Post subject: |
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谢谢jemmy
我把诗歌转到双语版
请多批
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戴玨
秀才
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808
戴玨Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-07 08:59:30 Post subject: Re: 宇宙风光无限(双语） |
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一些建議：
| jemmy wrote: |
| Fearing and happiness interweave simuitaneously |
Fear and happiness...
| jemmy wrote: |
| One day maybe I would really free like a bird |
...I would really be free...
| jemmy wrote: |
The sence going to unknown step by step is really too wonderful for
words |
The sense of going to unknown step by step is really too wonderful to describe
| jemmy wrote: |
How much is mankind subjected to restrict
And how much can we go to change |
How many restrictions is mankind subject to
And how many changes can we make
| jemmy wrote: |
| Maybe I have much weakness then I expect |
Maybe I have many more weaknesses than I expect
| jemmy wrote: |
When I found the blue globe's life become a strong think of day by
day
Because love
I still thirst for back the world |
When I found life on the blue globe increasingly became intense memories
Because of love
I still yearned to return to the world
等等。
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I labour by singing light
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kokho
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Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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jemmy
秀才
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection |
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jemmy
秀才
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection |
| Posted: 2007-06-07 18:20:24 Post subject: |
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发表于 Posted: 星期三 六月 06, 2007 9:32 pm 发表主题 Post subject: 宇宙风光无限(双语）
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
宇宙风光无限(双语）
黄娟
上天不仅仅是嫦娥的心愿
当我进入宇宙
恐惧和幸福同时交缠
有天我也许可以自由如一只鸟
体验无限空间
一步步走向未知的感觉真是妙不可言
人类受着多少制约
而我们又能作多少改变
我或者比预计中要多许多弱点
当我发觉太空还不能成为我的家园
当我发觉蔚蓝色地球上的生活日益成为一种强烈怀念
因为爱
我还是渴望回到人间
当然我总是要回来的
离开的时候我就已感觉到我生命的重力源
回到你身边的欲望如同离开时的心情一样迫切
当我飞越四十多公里的黑障区
与你几分钟的音信隔绝使我心煎
当然，我也感受到了爱的辉煌壮烈
在火的包围中我如同跨越凡界
神圣，纯洁
如果不是因为离开我都不知道人间真的有绝恋
爱情真的有无上誓言
感觉我已超越极限
我但愿我们有天能够一起上天
如同这是一段长假旅行
我将向你指点我曾经的路线
宇宙风光无限
The Cosinos's Sight Is Limitless
by huangjuan
Going up to the sky isn't only Chenger's wish
When I come into cosmos
Fearing and happiness interweave simuitaneously
One day maybe I would really free like a bird
Practice limitless space
The sence going to unknown step by step is really too wonderful to
words
How much is mankind subjected to restrict
And how much can we go to change
Maybe I have much weakness than I expect
When I found space still couldn't be my home
When I found the blue globe's life become a strong think of day by
day
Because of love
I still thirst for back the world
Certainly I would back after all
When I left I was fealing the gravity's source of my life already
The wish coming back your side is as urgent as the feeling when
I left
While I flew through the more then 40 kilometer's the blackout area
The several minutes is0lateding with you made me anxious
Certainly,I also felt the brilliant and heroic of love
Surrouding by the fire I as if strided across the mortal world
Sacred,clean and honest
If I didn't leave
I didn't know there is real absolute love in the world
Love real have supreme oaths
Feeling I had surpassed the limit
I wish we would fly to the space together one day
As if this is a long holidays tour
I would give you directions the route I had flown
The Cosmos's sight is limitless
_________________
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jemmy
秀才
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection |
| Posted: 2007-06-10 14:31:39 Post subject: 给戴版主的信 |
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戴版主:
我看了你的建议,不过诗歌这种东西,也许以我这么个"外行"进入会给英文带来一些新鲜感,我且试试.
如果可能,希望能介绍几本加拿大的文学杂志,这将促进我更加倍努力学习翻译.
致谢.还望更多指点.
黄娟 |
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戴玨
秀才
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808
戴玨Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-10 21:36:59 Post subject: Re: 给戴版主的信 |
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| jemmy wrote: |
戴版主:
我看了你的建议,不过诗歌这种东西,也许以我这么个"外行"进入会给英文带来一些新鲜感,我且试试.
|
我的那些建議，未必是更好的翻譯，只是更proper的English。你的英語（拼寫，語法等）錯漏甚多，希望你在這方面作些改善。
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I labour by singing light
我的blog
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kino
秀才
Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-06-25 05:47:43 Post subject: |
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| 诗白了一些~~ |
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William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2007-07-24 16:10:06 Post subject: |
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明显感觉到黄娟的汉语诗受到了英语诗语句形式的影响。英语诗注重语句之间逻辑联系，爱用联结词。而汉语诗最讲情感逻辑和审美逻辑，不需要任何联结词。这样更简洁、更含蓄、更空灵。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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jemmy
秀才
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection |
| Posted: 2007-07-25 00:47:53 Post subject: |
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这是因为中国一向没有科技界的诗歌,写到科学方面,自然而然有逻辑,事实上,我在实践把科学精神科学气质带进诗歌  |
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kokho
进士出身
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-07-30 22:05:44 Post subject: |
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jemmy 我看过最好的 科学诗歌 是位 姓张的女诗人的 “飞鸟集” 我找来给你看看。。
[我也给这里的白水写了一首天文形象的双语诗 白水还找得到吗？]
光的自由-- kokho
。 戏剧诗
光对镜片说 - 你可否不要一再让我转折？
镜片说 - 钻石可不让你再轻易逃脱。。
光又对镜片说 - 那可是女人的幸福和自尊哪！
镜片回说 - 如果任你来去自如，那人们还看什么书，认什么字呀？
光可嚷起来了 - 你防碍了我的自由！
天对光说 - 你如果直来直往，地球是黑的，动物是瞎的，你还风光什么呀？
随意而妆和：
光说：我是世界之明 万物之灵
镜片：一旦成虐 苍穹悲泣
光说：俯瞰众生 朝夕愉悦
镜片：调整角度 脚步安平
光说: 我喜欢直射,任风雨弥漫
镜片说: 恐惧你的追求,我选择躲避
光说: 没有我的身影,黑暗将笼罩
镜片说: 瞳孔已经放大,要你何用?
光说: 纵观世界我无处不在
镜片: 折射无度,地球转动
光说: 可依然进入地层,四季轮回
镜片: 一个角落 冰雪不化...
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-07-30 22:09:08 Post subject: |
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诗歌是一形象为艺术工具。。
朗诵诗只是个开始。。 当你让形象对话，而看不到诗人的你、我、他
就开始进入诗歌的上层了！！！
多努力哟。。。
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jemmy
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-08-01 12:55:05 Post subject: Re: 给戴版主的信 |
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| jemmy wrote: |
戴版主:
我看了你的建议,不过诗歌这种东西,也许以我这么个"外行"进入会给英文带来一些新鲜感,我且试试.
如果可能,希望能介绍几本加拿大的文学杂志,这将促进我更加倍努力学习翻译.
致谢.还望更多指点.
黄娟 |
双语诗歌不是翻译！！ 英文诗要让外国人读了有诗味才算 ：）
双语诗歌，就像人象照的双主灯，为了形象的创造效果，两盏灯光的影子和效果，不能是对等的。诗歌是形象和思想的艺术品，双语诗歌是两首应用共通的文化形象写出来的诗歌，任何一个语言的读者，并不需要对其他语言文化和谚语有深确认识
。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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jemmy
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Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
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| Posted: 2007-08-02 04:20:37 Post subject: |
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译诗不算双语,这种提法比较新鲜,同一意境构想中英不同写法,这是有的,但已不忠实原作
对于翻译我是外行,比较不知深浅,可巧有你们英语国家的在,这就方便多了
多指教! |
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Lake
举人
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
| Posted: 2007-08-02 05:44:16 Post subject: Re: 给戴版主的信 |
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| kokho wrote: |
双语诗歌不是翻译！！ 英文诗要让外国人读了有诗味才算 ：） |
这个观点同意。我也是最近才有所醒悟。你说的双语诗歌是诗人用两种语言创造的诗歌，诗人本身要有驾驭双语的能力才能做到。
| kokho wrote: |
双语诗歌，就像人象照的双主灯，为了形象的创造效果，两盏灯光的影子和效果，不能是对等的。诗歌是形象和思想的艺术品，双语诗歌是两首应用共通的文化形象写出来的诗歌，任何一个语言的读者，并不需要对其他语言文化和谚语有深确认识
。 |
双语诗歌的关系，读来有启发。
“任何一个语言的读者，并不需要对其他语言文化和谚语有深确认识“
这句 犯琢磨。  
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: 2007-08-02 05:51:08 Post subject: |
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ｌａｋｅ 和 ｊｅｍｍｙ
忠实是报道文学 不是艺术；
双语诗歌 和自己做的 翻译诗歌 是有分别 ；））
。。
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jemmy
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Posts: 414
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| Posted: 2007-08-08 15:22:29 Post subject: |
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kokho:
什么时候给我看你说的那位女诗人的诗? |
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