冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-28 01:39:41 Post subject: 登黄鹤楼 |
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登黄鹤楼
荆楚烟波一脉流,
行歌伴我渡方舟.
骚人已是田横客,
何必他乡说故州? |
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暗香如沁 秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Posts: 885 Location: 北京 暗香如沁Collection |
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白水 大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-28 19:37:17 Post subject: |
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荆楚烟波一脉流
读诗如临境, 好 |
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晓松 举人
Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1192
晓松Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-28 20:18:22 Post subject: |
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欣赏《登黄鹤楼》
昔人已乘黄鹤去
诗人又登黄鹤楼
慨叹楚荆成一脉
田横虽死亦风流 |
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野航 秀才
Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 547 Location: toronto 野航Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-29 15:34:02 Post subject: |
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慈亲英气话筹谋
此句费解。 _________________ 回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统 |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-30 00:05:04 Post subject: |
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暗香如沁 wrote: |
结句一问提升整体诗意.欣赏。学习. |
得到你的肯定和鼓励,是非常快乐的事。谢谢! |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-30 00:43:20 Post subject: |
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白水 Moonlight wrote: |
荆楚烟波一脉流
读诗如临境, 好 |
白水过奖了!不过有你赞许,我很高兴。
“荆楚烟波一脉流”是登楼远眺的实景,也是想用它引出“慈亲”扶老携幼、背井离乡、图谋发展的情怀。但“承”句确实没写好呵! |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-30 00:50:41 Post subject: |
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晓松 wrote: |
欣赏《登黄鹤楼》
昔人已乘黄鹤去
诗人又登黄鹤楼
慨叹楚荆成一脉
田横虽死亦风流 |
晓松好和,特别喜欢结句。“田横虽死亦风流”是何等境界! |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-30 00:55:20 Post subject: |
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野航兄说得好。
我把它改为“行歌伴我渡方舟”.如何? |
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