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在五月寫四月
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-24 10:25:41    Post subject: 在五月寫四月 Reply with quote

在五月寫四月


 兮不能止

 浸夜的露水
 在晨風斜陽之前
 自葉尖悄悄
 滴
 落
 了
 !

   天
     問

 ——撞擊我最怕的季節
 活著尋覓那死去的詩人

 再想六月的無能
 五月是不可逝去的痛楚
 七月的版圖只有一個暴晴

 哀郢流離兮
 幽幽離騷

 兮不能止

 在五月我只能寫四月 ──
 你最后流浪的时节


后续。
另,非常感谢 ZY 兄赠诗,连接如下:
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=5538
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-24 10:34:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

兮不能止

五月不可逝去的痛楚


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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2007-05-24 11:01:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

活著尋覓那死去的詩人

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ZY
秀才


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 163
Location: 台北
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PostPosted: 2007-05-24 15:05:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

曼余目以流觀兮,冀壹反之何時?
--哀郢
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博弈
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PostPosted: 2007-05-24 19:11:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢点读。
让我们不要忘记屈原--中国最伟大的诗人之一。
在此,意欲
四月,诗人最后流浪的时候。
六月,七月,语双关 六国,七国。
楚,晴(秦)。语双关 楚痛秦暴。

了 字形具有下落的象形。

兮不能止
兮止皆楚辞里常用的。转意思为 1,楚辞的象征不能停止啊 2。感叹不止啊。
不用汩罗江而虚构離騷河,因取离骚字诗双关义。

这些变用只是个人写时的想法,没啥诗法。
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-26 00:45:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

联想被自己抑制得一高一低。
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上城
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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-29 00:28:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
谢点读。
让我们不要忘记屈原--中国最伟大的诗人之一。
在此,意欲
四月,诗人最后流浪的时候。
六月,七月,语双关 六国,七国。
楚,晴(秦)。语双关 楚痛秦暴。

了 字形具有下落的象形。

兮不能止
兮止皆楚辞里常用的。转意思为 1,楚辞的象征不能停止啊 2。感叹不止啊。
不用汩罗江而虚构離騷河,因取离骚字诗双关义。

这些变用只是个人写时的想法,没啥诗法。


其实我的那首诗,
坠落
---坠落
二语也有此妙,可感情不是古典的。
充满了暗示与隐喻。有时诗妙是不可言说的。
其间的悲喜也不必言说的。
小生轻狂。在此拜读。
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