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冬天的早晨
杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-11 18:26:30    Post subject: 冬天的早晨 Reply with quote

冬天的早晨

让我来叙述这个冬天的早晨
一场大雪带来的孤独和苍茫
洁白的轻纱笼罩四野
波浪起伏
像微风推动的故乡哈拉巴湖

一只鸟掠过
甩下细碎的玻璃
父亲也是一只鸟
他从雪里走出来
抖抖老树皮一样的翅膀
他早都飞不动了
我知道他心里的恨

他笨拙地挥动手中的锹
身后的路从屋里晃出来
蹒跚得像个鸭子
每年冬天他都这样铲着
路越铲越窄越铲越孤独
他说现在他不需要铲得太宽了

让我来叙述这个冬天的早晨
一场大雪带来的孤独和苍茫
那个铲雪的老人
缓慢而低沉的身影
像玻璃上一条移动的水流
我看见无来由的风
在父亲的路上吹来吹去
扬起的雪掀动父亲的帽子
他捂着头缩着脖子眯着眼
脸上的表情悲悯得让人心疼

父亲啊
请收敛起脸上的泪水
好让我的泪水流淌在你的脸上
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-11 19:02:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

今年东北雪大,让我象起童年的气候。大雪封门,我们踏着没膝的大雪去给无保户扫院清道。
湖北韩少君写妻子穿着红裤子扫雪:一团火在屁股上煽动------好象是(跳跃),忘了。各有千秋。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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子花
秀才


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-11 19:12:36    Post subject: 好诗歌~ Reply with quote

学习这样的气息~
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-11 23:29:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢少君兄夸赞!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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一言
秀才


Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 360

一言Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-11 23:36:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

非常抒情真实感人.
拜读
问好
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我是个平凡的人,但我喜欢在平凡的日子里做不平凡的事情,每个人都可以这么来作去认为自己的存在。
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-12 00:07:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

悲悯的情怀,朴素的语言,浓浓的诗意,最直接的胸怀.
我知道父亲的恨,也知道我自己的恨.
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每个诗人都很重要
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-12 13:42:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢子花诗人!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-12 13:43:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢一言诗人!谢伤城诗人!祝二位诗人愉快!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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远方有佳人
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 102

远方有佳人Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-12 18:06:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个时候还记着冬天啊
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 02:35:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

让我来叙述这个冬天的早晨
一场大雪带来的孤独和苍茫
那个铲雪的老人
缓慢而低沉的身影
像玻璃上一条移动的水流
我看见无来由的风
在父亲的路上吹来吹去
扬起的雪掀动父亲的帽子
他捂着头缩着脖子眯着眼
脸上的表情悲悯得让人心疼

叙述沉稳,意象生动~问好海军!


Very Happy
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 04:07:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

远方有佳人 wrote:
这个时候还记着冬天啊


谢诗人赏读!祝好!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 04:08:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
让我来叙述这个冬天的早晨
一场大雪带来的孤独和苍茫
那个铲雪的老人
缓慢而低沉的身影
像玻璃上一条移动的水流
我看见无来由的风
在父亲的路上吹来吹去
扬起的雪掀动父亲的帽子
他捂着头缩着脖子眯着眼
脸上的表情悲悯得让人心疼

叙述沉稳,意象生动~问好海军!


Very Happy


谢谢明月诗人的点评!祝诗人愉快!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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陈若祥
秀才


Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 04:21:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

动词和副词的运用很好!
用形象述说,现实的风格,依然厚实!
继续观注海军!
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¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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品玉
秀才


Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 05:21:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

情真意浓!用厚重的情感点播字里行间!欣赏!
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孤独的执烛者,在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口~~~~~
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 22:16:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢品玉诗人,祝愉快!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-14 15:01:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

陈若祥 wrote:
动词和副词的运用很好!
用形象述说,现实的风格,依然厚实!
继续观注海军!


谢祥子诗人!!!!谢祥子诗人的关注!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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孙继廷
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Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 115
Location: 吉林四平
孙继廷Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-15 23:38:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首诗让我想起家乡那年的大雪,想起雪中的父亲!令人感动的诗。生活需要感动。学习这种感恩!! Smile
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 06:17:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢继廷诗人,问好!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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