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断章----祥子的短诗
陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-06 18:42:13    Post subject: 断章----祥子的短诗 Reply with quote

断章

祥子

(一)
植树节
我们一起
去植树

(二)
整个晚上我都坐在下水道边
聆听
故乡小河的声音

(三)
夜幕降临的时候
萤火虫总会亮起冷光
寻找
炽热的爱情
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2007-05-06 18:58:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

夜幕降临的时候
萤火虫总会亮起冷光
寻找
炽热的爱情
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-06 19:55:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao:你的笑犹如一个春天.
这三节没有内在的联系,是真实的断章.
我最喜欢第一节,曾经讲给学生听,学生很吃惊.
当我们用诗的眼光去看这句话,它有如下的意味:
1.植树节去植树,表现了该做什么的时候就去做什么;
2.我们去植树,加上"一起"体现了群体的和谐,"我们"不是各自为 战;
3.也讽喻着一种循规蹈矩、墨守成规。

欢迎朋友们点评!
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changan
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 02:41:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

1.植树节去植树,表现了该做什么的时候就去做什么;
2.我们去植树,加上"一起"体现了群体的和谐,"我们"不是各自为 战;
3.也讽喻着一种循规蹈矩、墨守成规。

----看不出来啊。但你说的也不无道理.
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子花
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 03:59:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗歌不用解释~~~~好的应该在文本本身能找到答案~~
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 04:25:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

子花 wrote:
诗歌不用解释~~~~好的应该在文本本身能找到答案~~


是的,但这并不意味着不可以去解读它啊!
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杨海军
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 04:58:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

祥子,我认为你说的第一节并不是诗,之所以说它是诗,是因为它分了行,但分了行就是诗?首先这只是一句话,并没有隐喻太多的内容,无非是你所说的几点;再就是它的语言过于简单,读来没有令人心动的感觉;最后我想说的是如果这是诗,那么每句话不就是诗了吗?
我觉得第三节才有点诗的蕴味。当然我不是给诗下定义,只是发表我个人看法。
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 05:38:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
祥子,我认为你说的第一节并不是诗,之所以说它是诗,是因为它分了行,但分了行就是诗?首先这只是一句话,并没有隐喻太多的内容,无非是你所说的几点;再就是它的语言过于简单,读来没有令人心动的感觉;最后我想说的是如果这是诗,那么每句话不就是诗了吗?
我觉得第三节才有点诗的蕴味。当然我不是给诗下定义,只是发表我个人看法。


谢谢杨海军友!
诗是典型的内视点文学,即是外在世界在心灵化过程中被进行分解和重新组合的产物.所以,诗歌反映的是个体的体验,我还是坚持我的观点.
当然,这并不是说它是首好诗(好的诗歌应该能够给予心灵的震撼和抚慰),至少,我们可以对于这句话诗意的解读.
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沙漠
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 05:55:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

(一)

为什么要等到植树节
我们才一起
去植树

我喜欢这样,当然,还不是很理想:)
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博弈
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 06:13:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

我喜欢

(二)
整个晚上我都坐在下水道边
聆听
故乡小河的声音

因为,这一首没写‘完‘。
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 07:02:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
祥子,我认为你说的第一节并不是诗,之所以说它是诗,是因为它分了行,但分了行就是诗?首先这只是一句话,并没有隐喻太多的内容,无非是你所说的几点;再就是它的语言过于简单,读来没有令人心动的感觉;最后我想说的是如果这是诗,那么每句话不就是诗了吗?
我觉得第三节才有点诗的蕴味。当然我不是给诗下定义,只是发表我个人看法。


诗,在于味。
它与隐喻的多寡、语言简单与否没有必然的联系。
读来有没有令人心动的感觉是在于读者是否或能否与之共鸣,
或者说,是在于诗是否或能否与读者共鸣。
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-05-08 12:48:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

拜读 学习。。。


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