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荷花劫
江南雨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 627
Location: 中国陕西省
江南雨Collection
PostPosted: 2015-07-22 03:23:30    Post subject: 荷花劫 Reply with quote

七月,我刚从《爱莲说》里出来
又与一支荷,相逢于鲤鱼山南
那些汉字,显然山穷水尽
它们已无力举起,一株带露的荷叶
唐诗、汉赋、元曲和宋词
都写尽了。诗经仍在黄河上开花

千亩荷塘,摇曳在我面前
我却搜不出一粒表达的珍珠。偌大
的荷塘,百花争艳可是谁能看透
水下的泥巴、和深藏的智慧
一支年幼的莲,正在努力钻出
淤泥。它的前世已经成仙

我也想一世清白,远离世俗里
那些阴暗、诱惑和弯曲
可是有一只无形的手
牵着我行走,让我白天快乐
夜晚绝望。我曾经仰望银河系
希望找到一棵归宿。那怕是流星

白天、或夜晚,总是有一只脚
陷在淤泥里,难以自拔
一只荷站在我的上空,像
灯塔,恰好离地三尺
我躲在它的阴影里,恰好

这个夏天,一个男人患上
妄想症,企图与一株荷花私奔
公告栏张贴的寻人启示
被一阵风给扯走了

普信通联 725000陕西省安康市文化文物广电局(江北)姜澄转
快递通联 725000陕西省安康市江南一品东郡11号楼804室姜华收
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2015-08-05 01:02:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个夏天,一个男人患上
妄想症,企图与一株荷花私奔
公告栏张贴的寻人启示
被一阵风给扯走了

首复。问好。羊年快乐。
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2015-08-06 01:51:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

千亩荷塘,摇曳在我面前
我却搜不出一粒表达的珍珠。偌大
的荷塘,百花争艳可是谁能看透
水下的泥巴、和深藏的智慧
一支年幼的莲,正在努力钻出
淤泥。它的前世已经成仙

我也想一世清白,远离世俗里
那些阴暗、诱惑和弯曲
可是有一只无形的手
牵着我行走,让我白天快乐
夜晚绝望。我曾经仰望银河系
希望找到一棵归宿。那怕是流星

白天、或夜晚,总是有一只脚
陷在淤泥里,难以自拔
一只荷站在我的上空,像
灯塔,恰好离地三尺
我躲在它的阴影里,恰好

这个夏天,一个男人患上
妄想症,企图与一株荷花私奔

建议下:裁了一下,写成这样子感觉更好。天然起笔,天然落笔。
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