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歌女
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-31 14:08:26    Post subject: 歌女 Reply with quote

<歌女>

丝竹如丝
弦如丝
悠悠的小曲
如丝
情如丝, 泪如丝, 愁如丝
思绪如丝

几张甩落的票子
几声廉价的叫好, 还有
几枚叮咚作响的
硬币

我好想
擦去, 你不再丰润的唇
血, 如丝
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-31 16:45:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

如丝
很幽雅

血, 如丝
很凄凉的感觉

月光的诗歌
几分柔美里透出力度
Very Happy
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写诗是为了写更好的诗
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-01 02:59:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

对歌女的同情。不过缺乏新意。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-01 03:31:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

和平岛 wrote:
如丝
很幽雅

血, 如丝
很凄凉的感觉

月光的诗歌
几分柔美里透出力度
Very Happy


谢谢. 感觉
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-01 03:33:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

北方狼 wrote:
对歌女的同情。不过缺乏新意。

谢谢, 能否告知什么是对一个歌女的新意啊, 探讨Wink
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-01 06:51:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy
哈,自从歌女生涯上演以来,世人都以为歌女乃不幸之职业,岂不知歌女非同一般,是人人向往的好营生。所谓新意,我以为应不同于一般认识。或者诗歌表达出一种比较好的意境,或描绘出某种色彩的画面感。本诗歌作为一般抒情诗不错,但如果给以更高的要求,则有些流于平淡了。
原谅直言,也不过胡说而已。姑且说之,也请姑且听之。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-01 06:58:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

北方狼 wrote:
Very Happy Very Happy
哈,自从歌女生涯上演以来,世人都以为歌女乃不幸之职业,岂不知歌女非同一般,是人人向往的好营生。所谓新意,我以为应不同于一般认识。或者诗歌表达出一种比较好的意境,或描绘出某种色彩的画面感。本诗歌作为一般抒情诗不错,但如果给以更高的要求,则有些流于平淡了。
原谅直言,也不过胡说而已。姑且说之,也请姑且听之。

诗歌常用借寓, 如果此歌女不仅仅是歌女, 而是一只仰天长嗥(诗歌)的狼你又当何想 Wink
或者一个湖边为人画像的画家, 一个地铁站拉提琴的艺人,,,,,他们在追求艺术的道路上付出了多少心血, 经历了多少磨难和歧视。。。。。。
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一无
秀才


Joined: 20 Mar 2013
Posts: 576
Location: 中国
一无Collection
PostPosted: 2013-07-05 10:16:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

“几张甩落的票子
几声廉价的叫好, 还有
几枚叮咚作响的
硬币”
真切有效的诠释。


从第391页中找到这首作品欣赏。
作品后的评论,真诚豪爽,很动人。这样的帖子,才可以交流、共进。故而把其提上来。
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名心退尽道心生,如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足,好诗不过近人情。

———清 张问陶



http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2013-07-06 10:52:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

一无 wrote:
“几张甩落的票子
...


问好朋友,几年前的诗歌了,谢谢你的鼓励
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-07-06 15:48:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

此歌女,乃街头讨乞的歌女(非当红之一流歌星们),属于弱势。关注弱势,诗人良心之吟!!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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恩子
童生


Joined: 04 Jul 2013
Posts: 6

恩子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-07-06 21:20:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

现实的时代,诗歌也非常现实
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