Maple Review :: View topic - 寻个温暖的方向，流浪

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

寻个温暖的方向，流浪

冬至将至
童生

Joined: 13 Apr 2013
Posts: 13

冬至将至Collection

Posted: 2013-04-13 12:31:42 Post subject: 寻个温暖的方向，流浪

风，吹进家门拨开最后一扇锈窗安静的张望壁炉上的老钟在寂寞的睡椅旁安静的游荡在凌晨的第一秒钟寻个温暖的方向安静的流浪从西伯利亚从委内瑞拉从马达加斯加或许，寻着白头翁的轨迹从北的北方从南的南疆这是，一次浅浅的悲伤背着家门向着温暖的方向安静的流浪，流浪

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2013-04-14 15:15:41 Post subject:

安静的张望安静的流浪，流浪这里的结构助词应当用“地”。 _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

童话
童生

Joined: 12 May 2013
Posts: 12
Location: 中国湖南湘潭
童话Collection

Posted: 2013-05-13 10:25:45 Post subject:

这是，一次浅浅的悲伤背着家门向着温暖的方向安静的流浪，流浪有诗与流浪作伴，感动！ _________________ 博客地址：http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/3326663842

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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