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晨光(八首)
伍培阳
童生


Joined: 28 Feb 2013
Posts: 26
Location: 公务员
伍培阳Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-14 19:40:23    Post subject: 晨光(八首) Reply with quote

1.晨 光
  
  
  停住脚步,看见庞大的花朵
  拂动三月最嫩的皮肤
  芬芳弥漫
  一些轻雾从山上滑下来
  缭绕的晨光
  渐渐打开新鲜的日子
  
  桃花盛开
  村姑的面影好美
  在小路的转弯处
  照相机的镜头,仍在津津乐道
  
  
  
   2.春 光
  
  
  
  南风拂面
  感觉稍许的凉
  檐滴从昨夜开始嘀哒
  草棵转换了方向
  
  已经立春
  隐隐听见,根跑动的脚步
  焕发,舒展,蓬勃
  
  屋侧。冬青树惊奇地发现
  爷爷严谨的棉衣
  传岀爆芽的声音
  一排排纽扣
  打开了春光





3.村庄的早晨

  
  
  天未亮,就听见脚步
  狗在村头吠叫
  衔住移动的剪影
  池塘传来喧哗
  星星溺水
  一颗接一颗消失
  
  村庄虚掩
  邻居家的小学生
  怯怯,探露半个头颅
  若明若暗的光线
  照见远方
  
  竹篮晃晃
  滴沥鲜润润的晨曦
  
  
  
   4.杏
  
  
  庭內的杏树,日渐茂盛
  枝桠纷披,交错
  好像仍在一阕宋词里
  平仄,动荡,遐想
  
  趴在墙角的狗
  此刻安靜,半睡半醒
  篱笆外的老槐树
  若果翻进身影,它就吠叫
  或者,叼住庞大的衣襟
  将其扼杀在夜色里





5.春天来了


  
  
  树枝抬升头颅
  听见南来的风,穿越
  阳光的微凉,温暖
  鸟声的晦暗,明亮
  
  山岭似乎平缓,陡峭
  涧流淙淙
  摸着石子的白键,和黒键
  
  村庄陆续进山
  小路拥挤,盘在远处的云朵
  比呼吸轻盈,陈旧
  
  经过树林,有人迫不及待
  昨天的鞋印
  已爆岀了鹅黃的芽尖
  
  
  
   6.翻 找
  
  
  
  花又开了,寂寞,繁复,喧闹
  稍稍走近,挨上呼吸,或者內心
  羞涩,拘泥,大胆
  
  在明亮处坐下来
  邻居坐下来
  包围三月,沉默少语,侃侃而谈
  制造心亊,了却心亊
  
  这时,感觉舒展
  翻岀一面山坡,又翻岀一面山坡
  竹篮告诉我,再翻下去
  就只剩下芬芳滾烫的蕊了





7.暮 春

  
  
  风从茅草尖上弯下去
  听见惊心的脚步
  翠绿的蚱蜢纵身飞跃
  
  周围的山岭
  有了弧度,高度,和广度
  鸟鸣深幽,涧流盈溢
  缤纷的岸边
  彩云留连自己的倩影
  
  沉吟久久
  村姑突然转身
  隐入传统的水墨
  看上去,沾染暮春的颜色
  
  
  
   8.过家家
  
  
  
  风在涟漪上过家家
  偌大的池塘
  漫起直线,弧线,曲线
  碰到岸,再折回去
  好像时光,在经意不经意间
  带走秒分,和刻
  
  离池塘不远
  小男孩岀手打了小女孩
  小女孩哭了
  赌气说:她脸上的泥巴
  在黃昏,让他家的脸盆
  道歉,怜爱,忧伤
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吴端择
童生


Joined: 15 Jan 2009
Posts: 57
Location: 郑州
吴端择Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-15 22:22:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

檐滴从昨夜开始嘀哒……

“檐滴”有点儿生硬不通,该成“屋檐”或“檐角”或许更好。

爷爷严谨的棉衣

“严谨”换成“捂了一冬”如何?

星星溺水
  一颗接一颗消失

涧流淙淙
  摸着石子的白键,和黒键


“溺水”很赞,“摸着石子的白键和黑键”更绝,高才啊!

看上去,沾染暮春的颜色

这一句似乎多余呢,兄弟?是俺木讷了?
_________________
爱情不是钟摆。
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伍培阳
童生


Joined: 28 Feb 2013
Posts: 26
Location: 公务员
伍培阳Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 08:46:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢吴先生点评。
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梦诗
童生


Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 29

梦诗Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-16 09:09:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="吴端择"]檐滴从昨夜开始嘀哒……
...[/quote

好评
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