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旧作《母亲》供交流
韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
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PostPosted: 2007-04-19 18:53:05    Post subject: 旧作《母亲》供交流 Reply with quote

母 亲

我没有抱怨过遗弃
你尽可以坦荡地做一个女人
啊,母亲
只凭那几刻钟的阵痛
就足以让我爱你一生

还记得我的模样吗
你生我的那个凉风习习的夜晚
生下我,你觉得突然吧

你把我托给另一双手掌
至今,也没有人知道
我也从不抱怨缺少强悍和勇敢
并珍爱自己不堪思念的弱体

我总爱设想你高扬的秀发
一闪而过的年龄
并以此来验证恋母情节
也许你并不美丽甜俏甚至丑陋
我想象桌边你晚餐的情景
他是谁?我象他吗?象?!
我曾固步于要去找你的起点
以至强烈的孤寂袭来欲哭无声

呵,母亲,端起豆浆的早晨
我从不斜视丰满的女孩儿
因为你,我未曾克制过
要得到女人的欲望
可是,我宁肯抢而决不去偷
每当走进闹市区
我还总向每一位老妇多望几眼

在另一个有温柔女人的部落
我写出趔趔趄趄的汉字
归去来入而出
我没有成长为将军或博士
只不过小镇上一个小学的教师

想着你,母亲
我愿意在流浪者的窄路两边
比别人多支一座破帐篷
我甚至愿意在一个晨读的早上
被一群奔跑的孩子撞倒

那时,我不会拒绝一个
成熟女人的爱
甚至以身相许
我会坚定地以自信
同一切惊讶和疑惑对抗

一个婴孩来到世上不一定真会幸福
但我只凭你美好的愿望就已够了
当太阳从你的墓地上升起
照亮我的沉默我的爱
啊,母亲
我将满足于一条通向
你铺满碎花的路上
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-04-19 19:34:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

感情,在这种言说下是直接往回收,没大展开。问好”)
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了因大兄
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 209

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PostPosted: 2007-04-19 19:48:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

深情.
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我不是树上的黑木耳,我被爱过
不能随随便便不回家
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-20 01:34:39    Post subject: 致谢 Reply with quote

谢金金提醒
谢了因大兄关注
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溪语
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PostPosted: 2007-04-21 08:58:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

赤子情怀总是诗!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

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PostPosted: 2007-04-21 16:19:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

深情且沉重,问好~
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杯中冲浪
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Joined: 29 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-04-21 17:49:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

感伤的心事。
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郭全华
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Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

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PostPosted: 2007-04-21 23:32:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

母亲的话题说不完.我也写过一个母亲的诗.贴在这里供参考.

●母亲,我又想起了您

我得先把您从遥远的坟地
一年又一年的青草丛中接回来
我还得从陈旧的箱子底下
翻找出30年前的旧衣服
让皱巴 补丁和寒酸聚集
我不能吓着您,妈妈

我得绕开那宽阔的柏油路
脱掉锃亮的皮鞋
您认不出我了吗 我长大了
妈妈,让我牵着您的手
您不认识摩托车也不认识轿车
我们就步行
您没有见过霓虹灯
我们就白天穿过城市
您别说我的新房像皇宫
那是因为您住地下室太久了

妈妈 您摸不够我的头
那我就蹲下来吧
不管您愿意不愿意
我要带你去看火车和飞机
去看高速公路
父亲来一回城里就叫我带他去看
他说要是你在多好啊
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借助诗歌,努力把自己活成一棵树,白天向上,夜里向下.
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-21 23:59:05    Post subject: 致郭全华 Reply with quote

写得好,深情而不悲,低亢而向上。学习。
借助诗歌,活成一棵树,白天向上,黑天向下。有新意有思想。
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黎凛
童生


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 76

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PostPosted: 2007-04-22 00:17:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

每当走进闹市区
我还总向每一位老妇多望几眼

感动与共鸣!学习,问好韩老师!
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-22 16:56:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢过黎凛
互相学习
问好!
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kino
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Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
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PostPosted: 2007-04-22 18:24:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

“你觉得突然吧” 总觉得这一句跟整体气氛不协调。是否可以说“你是不是觉得突然?”
个人感觉。 Smile
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