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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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雪鹰
童生


Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 9

雪鹰Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-19 05:04:37    Post subject: 4个 Reply with quote

《雨水》

雨从此频频光顾
为爱情流下的泪
如此充沛

难道这还不足以打动
那铁石一样的心
你的门应该打开了

你的拒绝并非完全没有
道理。一个人为什么
非要坚持自己的观点呢

服从,是否就真是奴化
我们做奴隶
已经几千年了。你说

让雨水洗涤吧
雪之后是雨,雨之后
满山的树:葱翠,挺拔


《手杖》

手杖插进了泥土
它能不能像草
在四月的原野发芽
长成一棵高大的树
能不能在那即将
扑来的乌云下
呼风唤雨
并让雷电击中
腾起一蓬耀眼的火花
给迷路者
一个确定的方位
那还带有体温的手印
会不会飞起
在天空张牙舞爪
他们再也不崇拜龙了
他们把一个个死人
揣进了怀里

《乐园》

一蓬火在你们心中
烧着,在旅馆
你们的爱,像窗外的海浪
躲过丈夫的盯梢
和众多猥琐的目光
她把头,埋进你的心窝
一次次,她扣死纽扣
拒绝那个倒霉的男人
来到你的身边

《傍晚》

一天里最难熬的时光
鸟雀归巢,争吵不休
泥土里刨食的家庭
什么时候才能安定!
累了半天的树想静一静
而风不干,一个蛮横的男人
把自己的寂寞
强加给一片片嫩叶
非要搂住她们,入梦
她们忸怩着:还早!还早呢——
那站在阳台上看落日的人
一脸忧郁
忽然间羡慕起扛着锄
哼着跑调的俚曲
走在乡间小路上的农人


433136湖北潜江熊口中学 汪孝雄
wxx758@sohu.com
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-19 05:16:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

稍显直白,感觉没有写出来!整体还不错。多加比喻和想象就好了。祝诗人好!! 
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-19 05:30:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢<手杖>.最后一个也不错,还可以留出些白.
_________________
个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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