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读微紫的诗<<我看见过爱情那瞬间的光华>>(
西翔
童生


Joined: 12 May 2010
Posts: 8

西翔Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-14 15:45:55    Post subject: 读微紫的诗<<我看见过爱情那瞬间的光华>>( Reply with quote

我看见过爱情那瞬间的光华



是的,我看见过

那一道光华,是瞬间的闪电

一生已经亮了,——前面,后面的阴暗

都亮了



一个花园,是瞬间

可它攀上了最高的焰火

夜空呵,多像生命!



我看不见长度和限度

我只看见过闪电

我只看见过腐朽的肉体那瞬间的神奇和瑰丽



现代诗写,千人千面,了不得。腊月梅独开,三月梨花白,各展风骚。

有一类诗,确实,增添一字,嫌多。减少一字,太少。精练纯粹得无以复加,让人叹为观止。还有人说:将一件事写的复杂比较容易,写的简洁反倒困难。将一句话写成十句话,比将十句话写成一句话要容易的多。现代诗写中,确实,有人善把复杂的语言写的简单而深刻。而又有人善把简单的语言写的复杂而华彩。

两者不能说谁高谁低,谁对谁错。我想,应该根据诗写的内容来安排。删繁就简删简就繁,两者都须要才气。就譬如微紫的这首<<我看见过爱情那瞬间的光华>>,实际,就是极尽铺排之能事,就是删简就繁。

前面第一节,是追溯的意思(大家可对照文本)。

第二节,像小说笔法,来一个倒述或者是总结。

第三节,就是感叹。完成了上面两节之后,来一个再感叹。

最后:完。

再说一点:现代诗写,实际就是让你穷尽词藻或穷尽立意,语言越陌生化越好,立意越岀新越好。现代诗人之间的竞争,就是对这两者之间的超越!
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2011-12-10 00:03:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

TISHANG!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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