SLIU
秀才
Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384
SLIUCollection |
 Posted: 2011-06-27 18:27:49 Post subject: Rainy Season |
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Days
weeks
already a month
molecules and cells
breathe out moldy smells
Winding its way through the mist
the nib, pauses briefly
then slowly
slits the floating dark clouds
Something beams through
Is it sunlight?
The moist-laden air
remains unaffected
On the notepad rests the pen
There is a dewdrop
sparkling
amid the humid atmosphere |
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Lake
举人
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
| Posted: 2011-07-08 05:30:44 Post subject: |
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It reads smoothly.
The nib? Are you talking about the tip of the pen? Are you holding it and writing in the air?
It captured the mood in the rainy season.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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SLIU
秀才
Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384
SLIUCollection |
| Posted: 2011-07-10 18:05:26 Post subject: |
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Thanks a lot Lake!
well, if it gives you that impression.... maybe just delete that word.
all the best! |
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