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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
我在岸邊等妳
劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2011-04-29 05:48:20    Post subject: 我在岸邊等妳 Reply with quote
夜色冷冽
月圓如一枚錢幣
邀妳共飲卻以不勝酒力婉拒

我決定在水中等妳
冷冽著妳的冷冽
漂浮著妳的漂浮
一擁就碎落如灑落的花瓣
一吻就羞怯成陣陣漣漪

想扶妳上岸又握不住妳贏弱的手
我想妳是喜歡待在水中的
我一上岸
妳又美若下凡仙女

我手掌握住的是
一杯薄酒和
一種無法握住的美麗
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-04 18:03:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
灵动的表达。
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-05 20:58:33    Post subject: Reply with quote
William Zhou周道模 wrote:
灵动的表达。


周道模詩友:

感謝讀詩!
請多多批評指教!

金雄問好!
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戀海
秀才


Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-10 14:29:52    Post subject: Reply with quote
我決定在水中等妳
冷冽著妳的冷冽
漂浮著妳的漂浮
一擁就碎落如灑落的花瓣
一吻就羞怯成陣陣漣漪

這一段寫得精彩

問好朋友
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-20 05:19:19    Post subject: Reply with quote
戀海 wrote:
我決定在水中等妳
...


戀海兄：

李白永遠是詩神
他湖中的月
永遠比我們眼睛看見的月
美上千百倍

金雄問好!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-24 19:27:02    Post subject: Reply with quote
一種無法握住的美麗

常有同感
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劉金雄
童生


Joined: 28 Aug 2009
Posts: 77
Location: 台灣桃園
劉金雄Collection
PostPosted: 2011-05-27 06:44:21    Post subject: Reply with quote
白水 Moonlight wrote:
一種無法握住的美麗

常有同感


白水 Moonlight版主

感謝點評!

金雄問好!
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