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天下,天下
下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-07 02:13:59    Post subject: 天下,天下 Reply with quote



疯狂的
辉煌的
天上升成巨大的空
把地留下
地底下
谁在说话


光线是硬的
世界被光明照亮
黑暗躲着
越来越多



号角

谁吹得号角

黑色的骑士
黑色的军团
象是风一样吹过

铿锵的声音
被黑色的骏马
铁蹄踏响
把恐惧砸落

乌鸦
和你的心一起受惊
大叫着
飞了



守望的孩子累了

领袖正在病危
人民正在沉睡

黑色的夜幕低垂
城市此刻
也是黑色的

魔一起说:“我”
寂寞一起说:“我”
很多个我
一起说

窃窃私语的是谁
裹着黑色的长袍
闪进陌生的街角
潮湿的街
蠢蠢欲动




只有剑是确定的
冷的刀锋
确定的伤害和血同在

其他的一切
忽然近了
忽然远

那些房子也在跑
跑得很累
里面的人在睡
睡得很累




阴谋正在生长
乌云已经集结
在天空
站着队
一层层

黑色的军团
正在穿过流淌的峡谷
踏上苍白的领土

一些黑色的蝴蝶
翩翩起舞
掠过干涸
穿过火




没有人继续寂寞
所有寂寞

说:“我”

领袖开始病危
所有正在沉睡


窃窃私语
一些
目光闪烁

我们
凝固进夜幕里的黑色

黑色
绝对的黑色
很多个我
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我的博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1251343504
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-07 09:00:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

可以多沉淀
写点更厚重的
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写诗是为了写更好的诗
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-04-08 09:45:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

内容有关注,语言有特色。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-10 03:54:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

读起来蛮铿锵.
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-10 04:32:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

感觉诗风的个性很强!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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南岩
童生


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 78
Location: 江西、临川
南岩Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-11 22:44:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

乌鸦
和你的心一起受惊
大叫着
飞了
问好,我非常喜欢这种风格!
_________________
诗观:用犀利的语言穿越人们的身躯!
http://blog.sina.com.cn/nanyanfish
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