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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

步《鼓浪屿登日光岩》韵

胡恢宗
秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection

Posted: 2011-02-26 23:06:41 Post subject: 步《鼓浪屿登日光岩》韵

步《鼓浪屿登日光岩》韵弹壳泥中铁未销，当年号角远天遥。千年史籍斑斑血，劝醒元戎莫弄潮。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕林深鸟竞飞

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2011-02-27 08:31:29 Post subject:

請教胡恢宗：《鼓浪屿日光岩》诗是〝千年史籍〞的那一段呢？ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

胡恢宗
秀才

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection

Posted: 2011-03-02 06:38:16 Post subject:

感谢白云老师指点，“千年史籍”一词出现太突然了，前边没有铺垫。我原意是站在日光岩上，看到战争的痕迹，就想到在中国历史上发生过多少战争，死了多少人，今后能不能对发动战争持慎重态度呢？但由水平关系，没有说清。今后一定要注意诗词结构的严整性。再次感谢老师的关注和指点。以后还请老师对我多加关注和指教。 _________________ 水曲云烟绕林深鸟竞飞

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