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輸

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2011-01-16 11:12:43 Post subject: 輸

輸一層一層的超特大Ａ級大洋蔥白蒼蒼環繞寰宇。與心平行一層是小說一層是電影與耳平行是季風的吟唱詩人音步是地平線無休止延伸與眼平行一層是柴米風花一層是油鹽雪月是真實的凌虛是浪漫的寫實且與我空腹並行。火山水氣穿上一件透明的喻依在幾乎沒有向心力的邊緣自舞，自從 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2011-01-17 10:32:50 Post subject:

自舞自从。从字想改改。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2011-01-18 16:42:29 Post subject:

改了一下, 加個逗點, 因為從在這裡的用法較少見, 有放縱, 自由的意思, 也因為蔥音而採用. 我也考慮詩題是否得改, 改做"位移", 但輸可以包含位移與輸贏的輸. _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2011-01-19 11:09:38 Post subject: 比起位移来说，输赢是主观上认定。

博弈 wrote:

改了一下, 加个逗点, 因为从在这里的用法较少见,
...

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2011-01-22 10:41:47 Post subject:

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

博弈 wrote:

改了一下, 加个逗点, 因为从在这里的用法较少见,
...

有意思.

輸贏也就是移動位置罷了.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2011-01-25 09:30:29 Post subject: 输赢偏向高下立判，位移比较塞翁失马。

博弈 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

博弈 wrote:

改了一下, 加个逗点, 因为从在这里的用法较少见,
...

有意思.

输赢也就是移动位置罢了.

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2011-01-25 12:01:22 Post subject:

有位朋友聯想到’書’，一頁一頁的。這也讓我另生聯想。讀者都回了更好的詩想， _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2011-01-27 22:09:50 Post subject: 好书。

博弈 wrote:

...

_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

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