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太阳就是那样的一位雕刻手1[2]  Next
hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2010-11-19 18:38:56    Post subject: 太阳就是那样的一位雕刻手 Reply with quote

雕出影子伴你
让人间显得不再寂寞
如果没有阴影,一棵树
还是不是一棵完整的树
而内心的世界难免几分缺憾
生命就是这样的一座
空洞的浮雕
如果阳光是一碗烈性的白酒
只有年轮才可能品出其中的韵味
这么多年了,万岁的都没有万岁过
千岁的往往不如百岁的
谁可能避免这样的结局:
重归故土
遭木匠之手
或者被医生解剖药水浸泡
更干脆的是
付诸一把熊熊的烈火
任水东流
任一江春水东流去吧浊酒一勺
谁生来都不是光
也许黑暗才是常态
出去寻找源头的人
再也没有回来
多少人在我之前死去
多少人在我之后也将死去
我们的火
会突然熄灭
或许缺陷才是完美的
对歌当酒,影子啊
给我捧上一坛烈性的阳光吧
你看我
不醉
不吐出这一地的鲜血
哪一棵枫树不倚着秋风再倚斜阳啊
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戴玨
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PostPosted: 2010-11-20 02:54:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵,李白月下独酌,島主陽光下独酌。
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2010-11-20 09:13:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

你也来一杯,不是月光,就是阳光
Very Happy
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晴宝儿
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PostPosted: 2010-11-21 20:17:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

任水东流
任一江春水东流去吧浊酒一勺
谁生来都不是光
也许黑暗才是常态
出去寻找源头的人
再也没有回来
多少人在我之前死去
多少人在我之后也将死去
我们的火
会突然熄灭
或许缺陷才是完美的

透通,冷静。
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白水
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PostPosted: 2010-11-25 16:07:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

这么多年了,万岁的都没有万岁过
千岁的往往不如百岁的
谁可能避免这样的结局:
重归故土
遭木匠之手
或者被医生解剖药水浸泡
更干脆的是
付诸一把熊熊的烈火


人说难得糊涂,你却难得的明白,看来还没喝醉 Very Happy
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2010-11-25 17:00:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

这诗歌是不是太理性了
Very Happy
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白水
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PostPosted: 2010-11-25 19:00:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

继续喝,接着写 Wink
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晴宝儿
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PostPosted: 2010-11-27 08:37:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
这诗歌是不是太理性了
Very Happy


想喝就喝嘛 Smile
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晴宝儿
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PostPosted: 2010-11-27 08:38:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
继续喝,接着写 Wink


哈哈握握
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2010-11-28 04:18:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

那个翻译很准确,但整篇翻译为什么不理睬呢? Very Happy
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吟啸徐行
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PostPosted: 2010-11-28 04:56:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

一种很豁达的境界,带动诗意的语言,随意吞吐。
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杨海军
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PostPosted: 2010-11-28 15:30:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗作大气
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——拙作《离开村庄》
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白水
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PostPosted: 2010-11-28 15:35:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

晴宝儿 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
继续喝,接着写 Wink


哈哈握握


握握哈哈 Wink
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白水
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PostPosted: 2010-11-28 15:36:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

杯中冲浪 wrote:
那个翻译很准确,但整篇翻译为什么不理睬呢? Very Happy


问好冲浪,等你翻译呢 Very Happy
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2010-11-28 16:16:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

哪个翻译?
我现在的理解力愈来愈差了
Embarassed

感谢朋友们的鼓励
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2010-11-29 02:14:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy 这首诗很豪放,看透世界的感觉,无所畏惧。我是说兄创造的翻译工具。我利用它翻译文章呢,汉英互译。
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安红红
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PostPosted: 2010-11-29 05:41:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

真正的完美就是它的不完美吧~~那么一点不完美点缀着~被我们热爱的心给消化了~~
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2010-11-29 07:40:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢冲浪和安安
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金金
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PostPosted: 2010-12-01 21:04:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

读着前边觉得有地方该加标点才易看,有地方显得罗嗦
读到后边,一个字:

狂。

醉狂?思狂?字狂?
但感觉整体还是很完整

——像“多少人在我之前死去
多少人在我之后也将死去

该再多些节制,
现在这样有点儿影响飞翔了。
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2010-12-02 22:46:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢金金

行文基本是白话,在去除所有的诗艺上的东西,文字还可以剩下多少内涵和诗意呢
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