William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
 Posted: 2010-10-30 16:05:27 Post subject: 【汉英微型诗】笼中的自由 |
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笼中的自由
周道模 著译
老虎关进了铁笼
它意外得到
不被猎杀的 自由
Caged Freedom
The tiger is shut into the iron cage
abtaining such an unexpected freedom
that he will never be killed
修改稿：
笼中的自由
笼中的老虎
在享受
不被猎杀的 自由
Caged Freedom
in the iron cage
A tiger is enjoying the freedom
of not being killed
2010-10-25 晚
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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非马
秀才
Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection |
| Posted: 2010-11-15 08:21:05 Post subject: |
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道模好! 提供几个可能性, 供你参考:
被关进铁笼
老虎意外得到
不被猎杀的自由
Behind iron bars
the tiger thus gains an unexpected freedom
of not being killed
或如不必一对一:
In the cage
a tiger can enjoy the freedom
of not being hunted
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William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2010-11-15 14:19:01 Post subject: |
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谢谢老师！第二个更好，简洁自然，语言地道。根据英语，汉语都要修改。我的总是繁琐，历练不够啊。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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Lake
举人
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
| Posted: 2010-11-15 18:14:40 Post subject: |
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如果能保留初稿就好了，可以有个比较。
以后也来学学写哲理小诗。
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2010-11-16 01:40:52 Post subject: |
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| Lake wrote: |
如果能保留初稿就好了，可以有个比较。
以后也来学学写哲理小诗。 |
好！恢复原稿。谢谢指导!
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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