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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

秋過路口

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2010-10-16 20:35:00 Post subject: 秋過路口

秋過路口我看著枝頭翠綠好多的花路旁搖曳直到樹葉都黃了我仍忘返猛想起我該過去轉瞬竟是滿眼楓紅流水浮雲 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2010-10-18 19:03:02 Post subject:

诗歌风格有变，简洁，明了

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2010-10-18 22:20:33 Post subject:

依事行詩吧。這詩那天開車時用口寫的。講完後, 她說太淡了,　讀的人可能看不出你要說什麼. 她說改成"秋過十字路口"讀的人可能比較清楚. 借季節自然的變換, 彷彿紅燈, 黃燈, 綠燈的顏色與心裡；借景抒發人事(浮雲)時光(流水)之動靜行止。秋可作擬人名詞或時間副詞, 若作擬人, 則是秋之為物(一種心情了)的來到, 秋在路口撞見其自我: 秋到了. 單純賞景也可; 流水浮雲亦可作"流水把雲給浮著". 你有沒有經過類似的路口啊? _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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