Maple Review :: View topic - 《水调歌头.登武功山》

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《水调歌头.登武功山》

JEFFYANG
童生

Joined: 09 Sep 2010
Posts: 4

JEFFYANGCollection

Posted: 2010-09-09 06:52:34 Post subject: 《水调歌头.登武功山》

草甸披金顶，最秀几孤松。云间一行躬身客，不避雨加风。仙人石柱歇马坐看山青野绿自在风景中更寻神仙处游导指前峰倚竹杖攀陡道穷武功只为要领登高极目四野恭风雨诉告艰险预报巅峰秀美诱人折腰攻放平心体力欣赏在途中

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2010-09-10 06:49:08 Post subject:

登山风光秀,丰情把歌謳! 問好JEFFYANG! "自在风景中"、"欣赏在途中",重韵了! 赋诗詞应避免重韵.供参攷. _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

JEFFYANG
童生

Joined: 09 Sep 2010
Posts: 4

JEFFYANGCollection

Posted: 2010-09-12 06:01:13 Post subject:

多謝指點。

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