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秋望(各位老师猛批)
把酒临风
童生


Joined: 09 Aug 2010
Posts: 5

把酒临风Collection
PostPosted: 2010-08-09 18:40:07    Post subject: 秋望(各位老师猛批) Reply with quote

1.
没有什么比失落更辽阔,烘烤数月之后
季节冷静下来,完成最后一场雨
夏天毫无准备就走远了,天空一直蓝到心底
在草叶下方垂挂的心事逐渐复苏,有些光亮闪烁
豆荚的茸毛斑白起来,但内部变得拥挤
这使得农具的愿望开始逼近村外
辣椒也在准备作别,它们瘦下来让末端卷曲
留下一生最后的尖锐
雨水已经不再被关注,一旦入秋
重要的是土地,赶在初霜之前厚重,还可以从容
越冬,而后需要测算一下来年的惊蛰
应该在第几瓣桃花凋落之前,破茧而歌

2.
走在夜的边缘,比田埂更狭窄
你需要足够的勇气,来盛放安静
秋虫明明灭灭的呓声,把夜露鼓圆
给月亮以暗示,另一些声音滑出黑蒙蒙的树尖
越走越轻,越走越凉
这个时候,月季苍老了许多,她们不会向季节妥协
愿意在寻常人家长成草或者不经意
红色的、黄色的朴素着自己原有的血统
避让过兰与荷以及菊花之后,一直能够抵达
梅的暗香之畔,这是一种坚韧,而在肃杀之秋
万物低矮下来时,不纵容妖艳也不脱颖而出
这该是宁静的缘由
在秋深之前
在黑暗之中
在霜冻肆虐之后

3。
还是写一写月光吧,躲也躲不掉
那些南宋乡思、五代闲愁
随时会在某个夜晚生还,伤及筋骨
一年等一个日子,等柿子、石榴圆满
千里之外便不再遥远
此时,秋花于月影中安静地修剪季节之伤
如果有风,泪会告别眼睑在池塘的碎梦中
与死去的荷花惺惺相惜
这些都与水有关,与月光有染

今夜,站在月光的一端望乡
思念倾向于家的方向,如同鸟儿
倾向于巢穴的温暖
更多的是分离,团圆成为一种假设
因为无奈,等待也变得令人神往
等到月满吧,不苛求太多
但时间必须是中秋,因为那一晚
酒酿得恰到好处
那一晚,月光剪不断理还乱
那一晚让心团圆
不论他乡、故土
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-08-09 18:46:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

沉稳而大气,好文笔
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把酒临风
童生


Joined: 09 Aug 2010
Posts: 5

把酒临风Collection
PostPosted: 2010-08-09 22:31:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢白水大学士点评。远远问好!
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