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七绝 咏荷(两首)____为长安区清北村荷花节写的诗歌
王国栋
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 02:11:20    Post subject: 七绝 咏荷(两首)____为长安区清北村荷花节写的诗歌 Reply with quote

雨后芙蓉淡淡香,半羞半喜画中藏。
清风无意堤边过,洗净莲心碧水长。

池内芰荷半掩羞,粉红俏面映轻柔。
文骚泼墨风中画,一点馨香袖里留。


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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 03:46:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

咏荷精品,欣赏!望弟加入唱和,活跃气氛。
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王国栋
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 05:25:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

好,弟确实有点不好意思,先找感觉。
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 06:25:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

国栋兄咏荷诗很有意境。欣赏。



七绝 洛阳牡丹 (旧作)

牡丹华贵沁芬芳, 风骨铮铮藐女皇。
国色天香酬百姓, 一朝绽放古都香。
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黄洋界
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 06:29:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

咏诗如画,作画如诗.好!
"洗尽莲心碧水长"一句,"尽"字换"净"字如何?
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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 14:36:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄洋界 wrote:
咏诗如画,作画如诗.好!
...


黄老师这“净”字换的好。感觉不一样,平添不少意境!
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王国栋
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 17:03:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
国栋兄咏荷诗很有意境。欣赏。
...

牡丹国色天香,构思新颖!
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王国栋
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 17:05:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄洋界 wrote:
咏诗如画,作画如诗.好!
...

谢谢黄老师指点,已经修改!
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王国栋
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PostPosted: 2010-07-25 17:07:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
黄洋界 wrote:
咏诗如画,作画如诗.好!
...


黄老师这“净”字换的好。感觉不一样,平添不少意境!

哥的意见非常中肯,弟昨天采风回来有点累,休息了。
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