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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

越调•天净沙•新娘子出嫁

昕阳一片
秀才

Joined: 27 Mar 2010
Posts: 190

昕阳一片Collection

Posted: 2010-06-03 21:42:55 Post subject: 越调•天净沙•新娘子出嫁

越调•天净沙•新娘子出嫁昕阳一片杏腮水粉头花，冰霜蝉翼婚纱。骄女轻声唤妈，何须牵挂，随时网上回家。 2010-6-4

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2010-06-04 05:43:10 Post subject:

[quote="昕阳一片"]越调•天净沙•新娘子出嫁 ...[/quote] 问好！在有限的空间，要容纳新娘子出嫁这个主题，这就要求作者十分谨慎地把握好每个细节。第三句末两字，《中原音韵》说；“去上最妙” 纯属个见，不当之处，还望海涵！

老山
秀才

Joined: 05 May 2007
Posts: 319

老山Collection

Posted: 2010-06-05 00:44:56 Post subject:

“杏腮水粉头花，冰霜蝉翼婚纱。” 丰韵优美！

昕阳一片
秀才

Joined: 27 Mar 2010
Posts: 190

昕阳一片Collection

Posted: 2010-06-05 06:26:10 Post subject:

笑聊 wrote:

昕阳一片 wrote:

越调•天净沙•新娘子出嫁
...

问好！
在有限的空间，要容纳新娘子出嫁这个主题，这就要求作者十分谨慎地把握好每个细节。
...

谢笑聊版主，略改了一下。多赐教。问好！

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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