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夢魘
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-30 12:31:36    Post subject: 夢魘 Reply with quote

我不知在這陰冷
的路上走了多久。
很累,胸中隱隱作痛。
偶爾我會停下來做個夢,
夢見溫暖的白天。
卻有只惡犬將我吠醒,
我不敢看它的眼,
怕它咬人。

我雙腳騰空,步子很大,
盡管我使出了全身的氣力,
還是走得很慢。
有位面容模糊的人突然走向我,
對我說了些難聽的話,
我把他摔了個半死,
就像電視裏的職業摔角手一樣。
我何以變得如此力大無窮?
如此
心懷仇恨?
我隱隱覺得
這一切并不是真的。

我又看見了那只惡犬,
為何它總跟著我?
或許我該走
另一條路。

我變成了溫室中的仙人掌。
四周的空氣死寂。
我突然發現有朵剛開的
花在看著我,
欲言又止。
我卻在想這碩大建築物
外面的風;
那未隔玻璃的陽光
一定更加熾熱。
花兒呀,你想不想
知道我的心事?

不知怎樣擺脫那只惡犬,
或是等它自己跑開?
這昏暗的路不知有多長,
但世上的路總會有個盡頭。
我仍得繼續,
尋視有朝霞的天際,
慢吞吞地走
猶如在水底一般...
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-30 13:00:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

看来压力太大

问好
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-30 20:39:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

我仍得繼續,
尋視有朝霞的天際,
慢吞吞地走
猶如在水底一般...


很有柔情。情意款款 Razz
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-01 05:43:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

能牢记的梦总是很诡异又充满感情~~
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-01 17:13:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

描绘梦境
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-01 17:43:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

”但世上的路總會有個盡頭。“


恶犬可能就是自我的另一意识。
梦对现实有可能是种合理的否定,
那就是抒发的正面意义了,在现实
生活里不得发泄的情绪在梦里释放了。

笛卡尔认为人生是一场无止境的梦魇。
但你说”但世上的路總會有個盡頭。“
(康德则否定笛卡尔的这个说法)

这诗的现代中文是很好的,简明充分表达,
有海明威的简易英文味道。

简读。
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-02 09:04:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好博弈。昨天朋友将书带来,半个晚上就看完了。一口气看完的。大才子写的书。

果然有很多惊喜。真难为博弈了。

戴玨的这首诗歌,其实表达的感情很陈旧,但手法纤细。


其实我很讨厌每天面对电脑。住在钢精玻璃房子里。要工作,没办法。能否换一种环境,又没有选择。
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戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-13 03:47:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝各位的評析,問好!
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