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我将一只醉倒的酒瓶扶起(外2首)
吟啸徐行
举人


Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-06 00:15:58    Post subject: 我将一只醉倒的酒瓶扶起(外2首) Reply with quote

《我将一只醉倒的酒瓶扶起》

我将一只醉倒的酒瓶
扶起,让它笔直地站着

给它几根青枝
让它举起我爱看的风景
给它几枚花苞
让它喊醒鲜花的笑脸

或者给它一瓢河水
一条懒人鱼
让它们相依为命
清净无为

就算什么也不给
只让它空空如也的站着
怅然若失
多么像我的孪生

可我难以自控,让它嘴衔一支红烛
吐出亮闪闪的夜
我和爱人坐在它身边,轻拥着
已有多年不曾这样浪漫

《我看见水痛苦的深渊》

水晃动了一下
很快又恢复平静
水知道,还有多少孩子
等待它悉心养育

这样的事,每天都会发生
水无法阻止
水一次次晃动,晃动里
我看见水无比痛苦的深渊

《穿过一座庙堂》

我闻到众多菩萨身上的气息
散发淡淡的霉味
还有一股暗香
但不来自肉体
撩不起我的兴致

有几个菩萨,满脸贴金
正襟危坐,接受膜拜
菩萨帮不了我
我也帮不了它们

但我依然眼含虔诚
面对这些素昧平生的大小菩萨
我耐着性子,递上
我对虚无的尊重
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彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-06 05:00:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

将一只醉倒的酒瓶
扶起,让它笔直地站着
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-06 07:57:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

一些句子已经诗意了,然而整个诗的主题没有凸显起来。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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吟啸徐行
举人


Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection
PostPosted: 2010-04-07 00:43:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

立意弱了些,谢谢指出,我当努力向冲浪学习.
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