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闹人 
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-01-23 14:51:09    Post subject: 闹人  Reply with quote

闹人 


孔子)

礼拜五,夜辗转,人在床
上如时针 ↑↗→↘ 星期六
才六点着,手机闹铃穿墙
游丝刺客袭梦。耳鸣如浑


好,卯时卯上,憋尿也不
这可是隆冬腊    弃 床
月,腋窝难张,关节如闩
褥城,被池。敌踩梦围墙

墨子)

电子更巨眼,绿闪闪6:33
舒張括約──手机焉焉何 
这要去按死它还得等它再 响
如猫头鹰扑攫夜鼠于黑暗

    处

魔音穿脑,狗柏拉图投吠
不爽,到底谁欠公鸡──


荀子)

明明记得设的是周日模式
一二步勉披袍,不做不休


手机当关叫嚣。好,会叫
是吧──磨掌霍霍我,抓
着了──看竟小脸一张妳
嗔目;接起说:我要睡觉 了


宿隔。眸越天衣,夜幔掀 起
半个地球外,妳是我的主 义
而我却错过了革命的召集 ! 
时漏 ↕ 搽塵悄悄拖鞋嘀嗒
回声↔老虎钟上卡秒的指 ↙
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2010-01-23 20:45:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

耐捉摸 Wink
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

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PostPosted: 2010-01-23 20:48:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

还有几子一并写起哈~~ Very Happy
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2010-01-24 00:26:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

大概难看吧?
这是我的多维写法,
这么写的时候,一般的反应是
看不懂。不过,这几子的精神
借花树叶子表达。那没有表达
的一子,才是这诗的本义。
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金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
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PostPosted: 2010-01-24 09:05:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈!我看好你,你这几个我觉得还是有进步,感觉上的真实很多人能写,但是有承担的真实,不是谁都能写的,你让我看到你对生活的承担,而且态度是很不错的。




继续写吧!祝你新年快乐!!
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博弈
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PostPosted: 2010-01-24 15:52:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝金子讀詩.

有進步就好.
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杯中冲浪
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Joined: 29 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 2010-01-26 02:41:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

兄,你的试验也忒前沿了啊,看了又看,好几天了,看不懂。哈哈,还有孔子墨子?
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2010-01-26 08:32:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy 还缺老子 Very Happy Very Happy
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2010-01-26 10:16:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

转贴几个诗友的看法:

--
博奕:
我的「鬢邊」又開始抽筋了....。
孔子)床
墨子)響
荀子)了
   起
   義
   !   
吾髮不能裝懂,只知道虎年有個很吵的鬧鐘,為了甚麼?讓博奕錯過了儒家革命的召集而六著六了失眠的日子?
詩讀得有些樂趣有些瞎猜,吾髮不能「ㄍㄟ熬」(台語),博奕的詩尾要放幾顆普拿疼啦ˇˇ。

--
欣讀這首以詼諧奔放的手法,幽古人一默。
而寓教於樂,於孔子/墨子/荀子之事蹟有多重涉指。
尤喜讀第三款的鬧鐘/手機。
--
妙不可言

博弈這首與手機搏鬥的貪懶詩
竟也把我叫醒

詩題闹人
想必借自鬧鈴?

詩尾處這來鬧的人可竟是小臉一張
詩人福氣不淺
可別貪睡錯過了溫柔的革命
---
博弈 wrote:
所讀不遠矣! 能得到點樂趣就好. Wink
我們的生活裏無形中都有這些 "釦子)"

之所以名題為"鬧人", 這兩字或許該是莊子告訴我的.
(題寫內容未寫的, 說他們都是庸人自擾.)

(又人若為鬧鐘即為鬧人)

著是我自創的多維寫法, 一般當我這樣寫的時候,
我的到的反應多是讀不懂, 兩位很大膽.

很喜歡.

問好!


唔,我也被鬧醒了~XD

感謝博奕的詩
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