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赐绿罗裙女友嵌名一则

君山楚女
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Joined: 09 Sep 2008
Posts: 333
Location: 湖南雁城［居住南京］
君山楚女Collection

Posted: 2009-11-27 16:33:17 Post subject: 赐绿罗裙女友嵌名一则

绿罗裙友，你的大号原本就有诗意。试作五言绝句答谢如下：绿风半卷荷，　罗带两分波；裙染芙蓉色，妙哉一翠娥。注：翠娥指美女。唐李白《忆旧游寄谯郡元参军》诗：“翠娥嬋娟初月暉，美人更唱舞罗衣。” 宋梅尧臣《谢永叔答述旧之作和禹玉》：“金带繫袍迴禁署，翠娥持烛侍吟窗。” 清孙枝蔚《采莲歌》：“多少游人看翠娥，船归羞和采莲歌。” _________________ 学习的敌人是自己的满足，要认真学习一点东西，必须从不自满开始。——毛泽东

李盈枝
状元

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Posts: 5987
Location: 中国山东
李盈枝Collection

Posted: 2009-11-28 22:44:50 Post subject:

君山楚女 wrote:

绿罗裙友，你的大号原本就有诗意。试作五言绝句答谢如下：

绿风半卷荷，　
罗带两分波；
裙染芙蓉色，
妙哉胜翠娥。

注：翠娥指美女。唐李白《忆旧游寄谯郡元参军》诗：“翠娥嬋娟初月暉，美人更唱舞罗衣。” 宋梅尧臣《谢永叔答述旧之作和禹玉》：“金带繫袍迴禁署，翠娥持烛侍吟窗。” 清孙枝蔚《采莲歌》：“多少游人看翠娥，船归羞和采莲歌。”

大赏！嵌名无痕，浑然一体。若就诗论诗，觉得“胜”改为“一”似乎更恰当。

君山楚女
秀才

Joined: 09 Sep 2008
Posts: 333
Location: 湖南雁城［居住南京］
君山楚女Collection

Posted: 2009-11-29 15:17:21 Post subject:

李盈枝 wrote:

君山楚女 wrote:

大赏！嵌名无痕，浑然一体。若就诗论诗，觉得“胜”改为“一”似乎更恰当。

用“一”字最佳。记起古人“比人”，多不用“胜”字。谢指教。
_________________
学习的敌人是自己的满足，要认真学习一点东西，必须从不自满开始。——毛泽东

君山楚女
秀才

Joined: 09 Sep 2008
Posts: 333
Location: 湖南雁城［居住南京］
君山楚女Collection

Posted: 2009-11-29 15:18:15 Post subject:

李盈枝 wrote:

君山楚女 wrote:

大赏！嵌名无痕，浑然一体。若就诗论诗，觉得“胜”改为“一”似乎更恰当。

改一字，谢致教。
_________________
学习的敌人是自己的满足，要认真学习一点东西，必须从不自满开始。——毛泽东

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2009-11-29 22:21:36 Post subject:

嵌名藏頭妙, 旖旎婉约調! 美詩! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

米运刚
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Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Posts: 918
Location: 四川省德阳市
米运刚Collection

Posted: 2009-11-30 08:12:01 Post subject:

嵌名诗，欣赏！

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