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Late Autumn, Endless Rotten Spring/秋将暮,春光烂无数
nightingale2
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Joined: 22 Oct 2009
Posts: 59

nightingale2Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-16 04:55:25    Post subject: Late Autumn, Endless Rotten Spring/秋将暮,春光烂无数 Reply with quote




秋将暮,春光烂无数


不欲相思时,

相思何从避;

隔海江山无限好,

花落黄叶凋。



秋韵日日暮,

春光烂无数;

都道黑夜有尽头,

何须登高楼?!


Late Autumn, Endless Rotten Spring


Who wants to miss him?

It still unavoidably happens to me.

There’re endless nice views over the sea.

Flowers fall and so do the amber leaves.



The autumn’s getting deeper.

The spring’s getting uglier.

They say the dark night is ending.

So why one needs to climb up the high building?!



外一首


View and Rabbit


A view attracts me and stops me loving,

so love kindly stops for me.



A rabbit run to grasses and grasses to him,

but not what he leaves behind -- the green,green tree.


美景和兔子



我因美景的吸引而停住爱情脚步,

爱情也因此善意地为我停止。



一只兔子跑向草儿,那草也跑向他去,

他身后的绿树并没如此。

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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

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PostPosted: 2009-11-16 15:43:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

"春光烂无数", how depressing!

"Flowers fall and the amber leaves. " the second part is not complete.

"but not he leave behind" ?

Thanks for sharing. keep writing.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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nightingale2
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Joined: 22 Oct 2009
Posts: 59

nightingale2Collection
PostPosted: 2009-11-17 11:14:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I JUST ALTERED IT, HOW ABOUT IT NOW?
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
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LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2009-11-20 08:51:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reads better now.

"A rabbit run to grasses and grasses to him"

Should "run" be "runs"?
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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戴玨
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Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

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PostPosted: 2009-11-20 10:52:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首有卜算子的形式,只是格律全然不對。
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