Maple Review :: View topic - ◆《别蓝时光》

	Chinese Literature Society of North America \| Maple Review \| Immigrants in Canada \| Angel Studio \| The Driftwood Artist Society \| Ocean of Poetry \| Island of Music "HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
	FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Sign in Blogs Weblogs News Album



Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

◆《别蓝时光》

孔令滨
童生

Joined: 09 Oct 2009
Posts: 32
Location: 中国广东
孔令滨Collection

Posted: 2009-10-11 00:33:01 Post subject: ◆《别蓝时光》

《别蓝时光》文/广东孔令滨让我回去，那个童年光景那个生命扬花的岁月请让我回去，拉一头吃草的老牛点亮暮归的路放一只美丽风筝拽着我的童年飞翔噢，我可爱的童年我赤脚戏水的逍遥童年我惬意悠游的撒娇童年请让我回去。昼夜更替四季轮回。生命的年龄可否变小？变小小得只剩天真、稚幼以及撒娇和哭泣但是，我又怎么能够回去？一个无论我长多大都要追逐的方向需要我站立青年的山腰观望上升。回头低首我看见了丢失山脚的糖果现在只留一壶老酒，饮醉梦见西游。启程。路在前方隐隐约约，我看见生命铺开，也是一望无际 09/6/1 中午 _________________ 能够交心的地方不必在乎有多远，只要相信诗是亲近所得，倾心所得，用简单的文字诉最深最真的情！【80后】

吟啸徐行
举人

Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection

Posted: 2009-10-11 03:30:19 Post subject:

让我回去，那个童年光景那个生命扬花的岁月请让我回去，拉一头吃草的老牛点亮暮归的路放一只美丽风筝拽着我的童年飞翔真情而又清新的歌唱! _________________ 彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.

孔令滨
童生

Joined: 09 Oct 2009
Posts: 32
Location: 中国广东
孔令滨Collection

Posted: 2009-10-11 17:45:09 Post subject: 谢谢朋友赏读。不妥处还望批正。

吟啸徐行 wrote:

让我回去，那个童年光景
...

_________________
能够交心的地方不必在乎有多远，只要相信诗是亲近所得，倾心所得，用简单的文字诉最深最真的情！【80后】

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2009-10-12 02:09:39 Post subject:

80后吗？抒情~

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-10-12 08:01:18 Post subject:

让我回去，那个童年光景那个生命扬花的岁月请让我回去，拉一头吃草的老牛点亮暮归的路放一只美丽风筝拽着我的童年飞翔噢，我可爱的童年我赤脚戏水的逍遥童年我惬意悠游的撒娇童年请让我回去。昼夜更替四季轮回。生命的年龄可否变小？变小小得只剩天真、稚幼以及撒娇和哭泣但是，我又怎么能够回去？写得有感情~~私下以为~写完上面的就可以不接着往下写了~~让人意犹味尽~~~加一个问号在尾句~~ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

孔令滨
童生

Joined: 09 Oct 2009
Posts: 32
Location: 中国广东
孔令滨Collection

Posted: 2009-10-12 17:27:15 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

80后吗？抒情~

嗯，老师指教。愿您一切安好。
_________________
能够交心的地方不必在乎有多远，只要相信诗是亲近所得，倾心所得，用简单的文字诉最深最真的情！【80后】

孔令滨
童生

Joined: 09 Oct 2009
Posts: 32
Location: 中国广东
孔令滨Collection

Posted: 2009-10-12 17:30:37 Post subject:

安红红 wrote:

让我回去，那个童年光景
...

好建议，有另一番效果。无限的“空”让读者想象。谢谢教正！
_________________
能够交心的地方不必在乎有多远，只要相信诗是亲近所得，倾心所得，用简单的文字诉最深最真的情！【80后】

Display posts from previous:

Emoticons





View more Emoticons

Page 1 of 1 View previous topic View next topic

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME