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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

拾起一节断根

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2009-09-03 04:59:07 Post subject: 拾起一节断根

拾起一节断根沙河边把你捡回来六月里目睹胖嘟嘟的小手白青透肌。探头大地如壳童刺儿有氧眨的眼睫毛你想去摸太阳夏来垫脚也不够。竹竿儿细剑兰绷着腰身颤笑你个不知天高地厚几度见兰开蝶去蜂来看山坳青了又黄落落－－你象个出字擎天鹤立鸡群太阳都要躲到你颈子影下你是沙漠的肥松,常青花苞是一颗土僧的头瘤雾的时候开窍岂止是仙人－－看掌！ _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

上城
进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection

Posted: 2009-09-12 17:15:20 Post subject:

最后两字有千钧之力：似乎使的是博弈的铁砂掌。一夫当关，万夫莫开 _________________ 每个诗人都很重要

遛达的七七
秀才

Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection

Posted: 2009-09-12 18:25:08 Post subject: !

为什么一看见根、断根什么的，我就马上乐不可支啊！好像是最近比较色情……对不起啊对不起博弈，你这首还真是有很大变化，都快不认得你了。亲一下哈`

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2009-09-12 20:45:20 Post subject:

七小姐真是胡闹得可爱。好好一首诗，你能读成这样，好吧。亲一下，秋秋。诗闹一首（即笔) 夏鱒親愛的自你的眼裏我看到色情水汪汪的鱼養鱒在眶裏魚自心海來上溯來產卵親愛的秋意剛來到秋色未金黃秋情已依依我是漁父愛著魚腹在你回游之前 ps. 拾起一诗，说的是仙人掌，这鱒诗似乎破坏了它的严肃性。看帖的人，分开来看吧。 _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-09-12 21:43:56 Post subject:

博弈 wrote:

七小姐真是胡闹得可爱。好好一首诗，你能读成这样，好吧。
亲一下，秋秋。

诗闹一首（即笔)

夏鱒

親愛的
自你的眼裏我看到色情
水汪汪的鱼
養鱒在眶裏

魚自心海來
上溯來產卵

親愛的
秋意剛來到
秋色未金黃
秋情已依依

我是漁父愛著魚腹
...

我还是更喜欢即席临屏的一首，喜欢它随意的短句子及其散发的自然情调。补充一句，我最近在看诗经，诗经的那种纯天然，不雕饰，我很喜欢。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2009-09-13 19:40:53 Post subject:

杯中冲浪 wrote:

补充一句，我最近在看诗经，诗经的那种纯天然，不雕饰，我很喜欢。

是啊，你是爱诗的人。我呢，有点诗的反骨，写出自己看得懂的东西，就不觉得是好诗（诗不应只是人写的）；但这是用在创作的角度，不用在阅读别人的作品上。有时候，挺讨厌诗的，哈哈。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2009-09-13 21:11:14 Post subject:

老乡们，闭眼！ _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

成都锦瑟
童生

Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Posts: 60
Location: 成都
成都锦瑟Collection

Posted: 2009-09-14 17:53:40 Post subject:

底色的韵非常好。老子云“大道至简”，看来博弈神游领悟。还有呢，你很多作品似乎都潜伏机锋，是为诗歌的趣：） _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/cdjinse23

冷巉
举人

Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 1106
Location: 中国十堰
冷巉Collection

Posted: 2009-09-16 14:17:21 Post subject:

喜欢主题又喜欢大家的这种回复方式。一便问好了~~` _________________ syr@shiyanren.com 冷巉湖北省十堰市茅箭区三堰邮政小区48号信箱 442000

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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