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黄昏偶题
米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-02 17:09:00    Post subject: 黄昏偶题 Reply with quote

黄昏偶题
夕晖降人境,金霭染河堤。鹜伴苏翁醉,鲢随柳子迷。
心舒宜访水,意乱莫观棋。却见初更后,月娥下云居。
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白云闲人
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2009-09-03 05:59:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

美妙! 飄逸!! 苏翁醉,柳子迷,月娥下云居, 妙筆生花!!!
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qinghongh
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PostPosted: 2009-09-03 06:00:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

心舒宜访水,意乱莫观棋。妙句!
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-03 17:02:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢白云、庆宏二兄雅评。
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白云闲人
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PostPosted: 2009-09-04 04:18:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

运刚,能啓發一下"心舒宜訪水,意亂莫觀棋"的含意嗎?(尤其是"訪水") 謝謝!
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-05 02:52:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

抱歉,仆语意不清,让兄费解了。“访水”,简说,是指到水边玩耍。
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-05 02:59:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

再接:心情舒畅,宜到水边玩耍,能从水的灵秀清澈中得到享受得到启迪;如果心烦意乱,就不要去观赏别人下棋,因为不能看清别人的套路棋意,出些不妥的点子,还会让自己更心烦意乱。粗糙的句子,让兄见笑了。
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刘献琛
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PostPosted: 2009-09-05 21:26:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

鹜伴苏翁醉,鲢随柳子迷。妙境。欣赏!
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-06 15:15:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢刘兄雅评!
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2009-09-07 02:37:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

你们讲不讲“平仄”啊?米兄!
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-07 23:35:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢周兄提问并指出,拙作的确有些字词犯了规。旧体诗要讲平仄,但为了不因文害意,个别词语略有出入亦无妨。这在唐人诗句中已多有体现。清人最讲格律,谨小慎微,字字推敲,却难有佳作。当然,如果大多数字词平仄相左,也就不好了。
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白云闲人
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PostPosted: 2009-09-08 04:49:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝运刚詳释!
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2009-09-09 01:13:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

我不是指你的诗,我是说这个栏目上来的作品是否都要讲平仄,如可以“不讲”,如“古风”,我就可以上来玩玩。
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白云闲人
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PostPosted: 2009-09-09 04:54:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

周道模兄,問好!
非常歡迎周兄之光臨,共同活躍我們的業餘生活.欄目上的每一首作品,都是每位朋友的心思和情感的結晶,是朋友們相互交流的佳作.當然,就唐詩宋詞元曲本身而言,是有其各自的格律(包括平仄.押韵.對偶等等),否則,那就不成唐詩宋詞元曲了.等于我們去打球,也分為有足球藍球排球,都有各自的規則,否则,就不成足球藍球排球了. 但話又分两頭,我們在网上發表的作品,既可以是押古韵或是押新韵的唐詩宋詞元曲,亦可以是運用"古風"的体裁;而且还可以請各位朋友互相交流,共同提高.在這過程中,也是一種樂趣,也是朋友間交流的趣味!
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-10 22:50:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云兄言之有理。道模兄,一同玩玩吧。
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一壶枫雨
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PostPosted: 2009-09-24 19:14:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

心舒宜访水,意乱莫观棋。
却见初更后,月娥下云居。

好意境,严重欣赏了~~~
格律,也是为意境而生的,《诗经》的风雅颂,不讲格律吧?
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米运刚
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PostPosted: 2009-09-25 00:40:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢一壶枫雨品评。
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