Maple Review :: View topic - 文昌鱼（外两首）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

文昌鱼（外两首）

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白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-06-09 16:01:19 Post subject: 文昌鱼（外两首）

《文昌鱼》轻轻地扶起这堆断裂的文字，如同扶起朋友，你可记得儿时在沙丘堆砌的城堡？风起时，我们试图弃城而逃却被浪花绊倒在海洋深处拍打着爷爷欢快的尾巴，悉心打捞那些遗落的龟板《光学原理》夜之魅魅在高楼与高楼之间一扇扇窗棂张开的眼睛苦练轻功，轻身的我终于可以翔于一个高度与你对视多么谜幻的夜色啊谜幻之魅魅就魅在一双双眼睛折射的星光《不知者，不为过》他不知道心脏搭桥一定要动手术他不知道动手术一定要打开胸腔他不知道打开胸腔一定要注射麻药，他不知道麻木的心扉缠绕着两条河流，一条涌动着喧响一条默默无声

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2009-06-09 20:33:47 Post subject:

不错坚持不懈 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

慈林
秀才

Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection

Posted: 2009-06-09 22:40:50 Post subject:

好诗,耐读. 请顺道来慈林的博客溜溜,慈林的博客己入选新浪名博. http://blog.sina.com.cn/markschen(更多、更好......)

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-06-10 16:46:49 Post subject:

谢谢两位。

sfiawong
秀才

Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection

Posted: 2009-06-10 18:24:17 Post subject:

詩歌突飛猛進,令人興奮莫名, 有很大的進歩,果真的有了輕功? _________________ 有評必回應. Love your relatives and friends when they are near you. 我的英文詩: http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong http://facebook.com/sfiawong

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2009-06-11 06:22:59 Post subject:

《不知者，不为过》很喜欢这一首的推演，过渡自然~

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2009-06-12 23:34:09 Post subject:

我也很喜欢<不知者,不为过>. 问好白水!

林宗申
童生

Joined: 29 Jul 2008
Posts: 83
Location: 四川省
林宗申Collection

Posted: 2009-06-14 01:13:51 Post subject:

跳跃,优美,学习学习 _________________ 博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/linzongshen

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-06-14 02:11:01 Post subject:

问好sfiawong，半溪明月，荷梦，林宗申。荷梦，久不见，听冰清说你那边网速很慢？ anyway，还是希望读到你更多的诗歌。

燕庄生铁
秀才

Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 116

燕庄生铁Collection

Posted: 2009-06-14 05:05:59 Post subject:

《文昌鱼》轻轻地扶起这堆断裂的文字，如同扶起朋友，你可记得儿时在沙丘堆砌的城堡？风起时，我们试图弃城而逃却被浪花绊倒在海洋深处拍打着爷爷欢快的尾巴，悉心打捞那些遗落的龟板这基调很吸引人，淡雅忧伤，无尽的回味。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-06-14 07:57:25 Post subject:

问好燕庄生铁。或许每个文学爱好者都有类似的情感经历吧，我们一次次追求，我们一次次放弃，而那放弃的我们又忍不住拾起。诗歌毕竟是自幼的爱好，扔也难。。。。。。挺没出息的，见笑了。

地依树
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Posts: 70
Location: 东北长春
地依树Collection

Posted: 2009-06-16 03:37:56 Post subject:

麻木的心扉缠绕着两条河流，一条涌动着喧响一条默默无声问好！ _________________ 用想象插进诗歌的心脏！

刘浪
秀才

Joined: 04 Dec 2008
Posts: 227

刘浪Collection

Posted: 2009-06-16 15:43:42 Post subject:

知鱼莫如水。问好先生 _________________ 是金子也会花光地

木易沉香
秀才

Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 122
Location: 中国河南
木易沉香Collection

Posted: 2009-06-16 16:00:04 Post subject:

沉静的叙述学习：）

晴宝儿
秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection

Posted: 2009-06-25 06:21:52 Post subject:

第一首的沉重氛围突出！看白水，问好快乐：） _________________ 晴宝儿

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2009-06-25 16:25:38 Post subject:

轻灵中有感悟和体验,提读.

遛达的七七
秀才

Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection

Posted: 2009-06-25 19:29:06 Post subject:

不知者不为过……两条河的说法，动静相宜

骨笛
秀才

Joined: 03 Jan 2009
Posts: 547

骨笛Collection

Posted: 2009-06-25 21:43:59 Post subject:

视角新到天边外，神奇。。。 _________________ 我把天空装在我家里，鸟儿天空中飞来飞去

枫桥
秀才

Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 149
Location: 中国北京
枫桥Collection

Posted: 2009-06-26 10:06:53 Post subject:

有一点疑问“ 在海洋深处拍打着爷爷欢快的尾巴，悉心打捞那些遗落的…… ”拍打一句有些不解，“爷爷欢快的尾巴?” 《光学原理》和《不知者，不为过》称得上经典，不知道白水是否细读过洛夫的诗，他部分诗风和这几篇篇相像，能把语言用的这么从容和巧妙是在让人佩服 _________________ 锋镝牢囚取次过，依然不费我弦歌。死犹未肯输心法，贫也岂能奈我何。

李有明
秀才

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 310

李有明Collection

Posted: 2009-06-26 12:00:48 Post subject:

问好，蕴含深刻的道理！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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