sfiawong
秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-05
帖子: 813
来自: US/HK
sfiawong北美枫文集 |
 发表于: 2009-05-27 17:59:25 发表主题: Haiku - Early News (早知) |
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Haiku - Early News (早知)
Duck is first knowing water
The weather changed warm after the winter
Swim early with her children
鴨先知水性
冬天後的水轉暖
兒女早暢泳
(5+7+5,內附一季節性.)
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Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
我的英文詩:
http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-05-29 05:14:18 发表主题: |
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You got the 5/7/5 in Chinese, but a good haiku needs two contrast/comparison images to create that Aha moment, otherwise it is just a pretty scene.
Good effort.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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sfiawong
秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-05
帖子: 813
来自: US/HK
sfiawong北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-05-29 08:58:26 发表主题: |
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| Lake 写到: |
You got the 5/7/5 in Chinese, but a good haiku needs two contrast/comparison images to create that Aha moment, otherwise it is just a pretty scene.
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Yes, you are right, I have changed it completely with Chinese and English in the right numbers of words.
Thank you !
_________________
有評必回應.
Love your relatives and friends when they are near you.
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sfiawong
秀才
注册时间: 2009-05-05
帖子: 813
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Lake
举人
注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286
Lake北美枫文集 |
| 发表于: 2009-05-29 09:44:39 发表主题: |
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English haiku is counted by syllables not by words as far as I know. And the modern English haiku has abandoned the 17-syllable rule, it concentrates on other things besides syllable count, and 8-12 syllables is usually preferred in English haiku.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
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