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十四行诗 - 长白山瀑布
魏鵬展
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 606
Location: Hong Kong 香港
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PostPosted: 2009-04-24 23:03:12    Post subject: 十四行诗 - 长白山瀑布 Reply with quote

十四行诗 - 长白山瀑布 魏鹏展

遥远的山谷传来了巨响
那是流水击石的交响乐
那是瀑布扑下来的喜悦
流水汹涌地奔向了大江

四周悬崖峭壁争高不让
三面屏风不留一点空缺
犹如三国群雄互相制约
纵有万军也能勇猛抵挡

瀑布从万里之高扑下来
轰然巨响从谷底传送开
有如万马奔腾直冲下去

飞湍击石无数水花溅起
远山吹来了凛冽的雪气
石缝间看不到一点翠绿
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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魏鵬展
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 606
Location: Hong Kong 香港
魏鵬展Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-24 23:05:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

2005年暑假时,我到了长春留学。东北师范大学的老师说到东北,不游长白山,将是一个遗憾,因此我也到彼一游。长白山真是名不虚传,其中较引人入胜的是长白山瀑布和天池。游后感受很深,写下了三首十四行诗,分别是〈长白山〉、〈长白山瀑布〉和〈长白山天池〉。

这三首诗是用意大利体十四行诗写成,是十四行诗中的正式,韵式是abba abba ccd eed,用普通话韵,三首字数都相同,一律是每句十字。这三首诗分别写三个景色,分之为三,合之为一,一方面可把三首诗作为一个整体,又可独立读每一首诗。
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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赵福治
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PostPosted: 2009-04-25 15:50:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

画面般的描述,问好.
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魏鵬展
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PostPosted: 2009-04-25 16:33:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝你﹗ Laughing
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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慈林
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PostPosted: 2009-04-26 09:23:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

魏兄对韵律研究颇深,学习.
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魏鵬展
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Location: Hong Kong 香港
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PostPosted: 2009-04-27 04:30:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝你﹗
聞一多說穿著腳鐐而能跳的舞是最美的,我想我還是脫下腳鐐吧。
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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慈林
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PostPosted: 2009-04-27 20:17:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

我是一个简单或懒人,对韵律的规则很感头痛,押韵也只求个同音,羞愧!!
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安红红
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Joined: 07 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: 2009-04-27 22:06:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

动感的诗~~壮阔的自然~似乎比喻还不是很到位~

问好~
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魏鵬展
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PostPosted: 2009-04-28 01:08:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝評點﹗
這首詩是我早期的早期作品,我還在學習和摸索中,風格仍需不斷突破。
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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魏鵬展
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Location: Hong Kong 香港
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PostPosted: 2009-04-28 01:10:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

慈林:

我的作品除了這三首外,其他都是自由詩;我重視詩的意境、神韻和主題多於形式。
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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上城
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PostPosted: 2009-05-14 07:39:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

十四行诗中的正式,韵式是abba abba ccd eed

我记得意大利的最后六句好像是:cde cde or cdc cdc

你是在哪儿看到的?
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魏鵬展
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
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Location: Hong Kong 香港
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PostPosted: 2009-05-15 06:12:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝留言﹗

我這個韻式是根據王力《漢語詩律學》。王力是相當權威的學者,因此這本書是大學中文系的必讀之書,相信他的定義不是錯吧。
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香港文學報《小說與詩》投稿方法+稿約、稿例、最新一期目錄:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_60b7bcff01018dcp.html

魏鵬展是香港詩人、《小說與詩》主編、中文教師;微信(WeChat): npcjeffrey
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