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故乡的颜色
慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-27 20:24:17    Post subject: 故乡的颜色 Reply with quote

故乡的颜色



故乡是红色的
盛开的桃花是美丽的衣裳
把她装扮得娇俏动人
像一个羞红了脸的新娘

故乡是绿色的
茂密的青纱帐是一方碧玉
挂在我的记忆里
陪游子漂泊在异国他乡

故乡是金色的
丰收的颜色就是这样
大地是最慷慨的母亲
养育我们却不要我们偿还

故乡是白色的
皑皑大雪把她掩藏
炊烟下面炉火熊熊
雪的怀中有我思想的温暖
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-27 20:25:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

<故乡的颜色>写作杞礼

——慈林

全球化,资讯发达,世界大事,家乡大事随时可知,相对而言,「乡愁」减弱了很多。弱了还是有,特别夜深人静,夜不能寐的时候,童年的往事一一浮现,不自觉间发觉枕边濡湿一片时,你才发现「乡愁」就在你的身边。
你飘泊在何处,无论你飘泊得多么远,「故乡」总是一个最诱惑的词。因为那裡有你童年的味道,那裡有母亲的味道。
睡不着觉,写了这首〈故乡的颜色〉。这裡的故乡是想象中的故乡,象一幅抽象画,形象已模糊,但鲜明的色彩却记得清清楚楚。
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安红红
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Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

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PostPosted: 2009-04-27 21:57:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

对桃花情有独衷~故乡永远是我们记忆里首先抚摸的事物~~

问好`
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-04-30 18:38:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢桃花,我也是,亦想走走桃花运.
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

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PostPosted: 2009-04-30 19:11:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

故乡是一个老话题,
如何写出新意,值得我们努力

新:可以是写法新,意境新,也可以是语言新
如果能做到出奇致胜,也不失是一种巧取
如果能够用平凡的文字,写出不平凡的内蕴,那就更好了

比如第一节,意思有了,但俗套了,就不够诗意
需要重新思考和挖掘。
我在这里,重新写一下:

故乡,她披上了一件桃花缝制的衣裳
我喜欢桃花
我喜欢羞红了的新娘,她的娇俏
动人,是我粉红色的记忆
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
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PostPosted: 2009-04-30 22:51:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

先生应该是北方人吧,更像东北人。
四季分明,千里青纱帐。。。
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慈林
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Joined: 20 Dec 2008
Posts: 419
Location: 洛杉矶
慈林Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-01 21:12:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

我是地地道道的南方人,生於广州,82年毕业於广州中山大学哲学系,现居美国洛杉矶,病重而独居.我的乡愁并不隅於一方古土,而是涵盖了整个中国.
谢谢诗友的评论!!
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