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一朵怒放的荷(外2首)
吟啸徐行
举人


Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-19 00:16:06    Post subject: 一朵怒放的荷(外2首) Reply with quote

《一朵怒放的荷》

池塘 以它的深
将一朵荷千百年揽在水的怀中
风来来往往 总忘不了
抚摩一下荷的美丽
雨哭过之后 几颗残泪
挂在荷的面颊
而夕阳 一遍又一遍
往荷唇上涂脂抹粉

蜻蜓立在荷的肩头 那么娴静
蝶 抓住夏天
鱼作浪
鸟语大献殷勤
蝉的狂噪 撕破沉闷的梦

而这一切 催动我
把对荷的爱种进骨头
芳菲今生 芳菲来世

《山中 躲一棵桃树》

它仿佛天生害羞
躲在一片林子里
藏在一棵歪脖子松树身后
满脸酡红
默然不语

旁边的树都被感染 风一吹
烧红一大片寂寞 灿若云霓
它的绚烂 年年岁岁
将我的浪漫搂进它的香柔

我只身一人闯进它的梦幻
聆听它摇曳的心事
一任它灌醉我的肺腑
它有无数酸甜的故事
挂在秋天 任我采摘
咀嚼 还悄悄塞给一个伊人

《墙》

墙在发烧 浑身滚烫
少说也有四十度
只是病因不明
不知如何下手

可墙顽强支撑
没有半句呻吟
直到下半夜 墙慢慢退烧
恢复到正常体温

在两个人之间
在两个家庭之间
那堵墙 苦苦煎熬
一场阳光 一场风雨
_________________
彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-19 01:21:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一个铺陈多了些。

而这一切 催动我
把对荷的爱种进骨头
芳菲今生 芳菲来世——喜欢!
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-19 03:56:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

寓意于景, 物. 文笔纯熟.欣赏.
同意沙漠的建议,第一首似可敛. 己见, 商榷. 不妥见谅 Embarassed
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-19 16:53:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

在两个人之间
在两个家庭之间
那堵墙 苦苦煎熬
一场阳光 一场风雨
_________________
踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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