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原创《爱,成为我回不去的故乡》
低处的迷雾
秀才


Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 104
Location: 六朝残梦
低处的迷雾Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 05:06:36    Post subject: 原创《爱,成为我回不去的故乡》 Reply with quote

《爱,成为我回不去的故乡》

文低处的迷雾

你忘了我们的相知,是穿越桃花和六朝的灯火。爱人,我没有逼你。为何你不说一声
沧桑琳琅都是可以解开的俗尘,为何你不懂我的惦念是一种心疼。你死得让我这麽难受。
让我在泪水中明白,每个人的心中都有一个回不去的故乡。
————题记

去年秋天
是我命里最漆黑的伤口
爬不出来的绿窗子
偷运一条小河
弯弯的流淌
拆了吊着利刃的脏绷带
爱人,你知道麽
我只想轰轰烈烈的爱死你

而我的爱恋没来得及吻遍你
骨肉相逢的城邦
你就死在大白薯地里
去给菊花说过的那一场相思
灭绝在你冰凉的脸上

我把你的尸体抱进
萧声照料的南山
那里溪水流淌 阳光充足
那里有你生前提过的灯笼和露珠
有我们初相逢时的绿蚁酒
爱人啊,我在哭
我在亲你的水草和深渊
我舍不得把你埋了

我的坚持 你的决绝
溅起无数的弹孔
墓地和秋霜穿越骨血
疼碎了爱的故乡
困于破裂的月光之上
我终于忍不住失声痛哭

历尽高寒的心
飘出铺天盖地的死灰
人世被戳穿一空
我被血和泪倒进悬空的湖泊
菩萨又远又不说话
爱人, 我湿漉漉的祈求
没人能懂

我们的相知
把月娘的洞箫弄飞过
你和我在水淋淋的野雾里
荡漾过
可是爱人
你都死了 你全都忘了
你死得体无完肤
你死得魂飞魄散
谁能让你再爱我一次
神不能 佛也不能

二月十四日
我听见桃花潮披着荒芜的天堂
路过我的忧伤
挪出锈在海水里的阴影
我听见香气筑桥
你的灯火脱下破烂的巫术
从云泥里拉出亲爱的春天
爱人,我泪流满面
你真的
一直就没有忘记我
爱人啊
我跟你去
我不活了
_________________
写诗就是灵魂在私奔。那些风中的道路,我一一痛过的伤口,已被跋涉的脚步止住了腥酸。博客:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1236291191
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 06:11:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

意象新鲜,但感觉整首诗长了些。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 15:16:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

情绪饱满

一声声爱人

问好低处的迷雾
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-24 18:09:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

作为真情, 很感人, 盼能从悲哀的情绪中慢慢解脱出来.
作为诗歌, 似可稍凝练. 当然, 这需要时间.......问好
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