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如梦令 海南小住
lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-26 00:12:33    Post subject: 如梦令 海南小住 Reply with quote

给各位诗友问好,请指教!

如梦令 海南小住

文/ lulu

落日余辉且住,
映照岸边椰树。
巨浪溅飞花,
好似当年一幕。
明悟,
明悟,
速觅心灵归处!
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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暗香如沁
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PostPosted: 2009-01-26 18:30:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

通俗易懂.
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~
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lulu
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Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-27 09:08:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

暗香如沁 wrote:
通俗易懂.

谢玉赏雅评拙作!还请多多指教!
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白云闲人
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2009-01-29 06:25:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

好一首如梦令!"速觅心灵归处"佳句!
lulu 的诗词意境随笔舒展!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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lulu
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luluCollection
PostPosted: 2009-01-30 06:50:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
好一首如梦令!"速觅心灵归处"佳句!
lulu 的诗词意境随笔舒展!

谢白云老师玉赏雅评!
您过誉了,lulu实在不敢当,惭愧!lulu的诗没有章法,常常是随情而感,随性而发,信手涂鸦,缺乏考究,还有待进一步雕琢、推敲,还需要在字、词的凝练上多下功夫。此前,曾得到庆宏、秋叶两位启蒙老师的指点。我想,你们应该是同龄人吧,那我也应该称您为老师,在此,还望白云老师多多赐教!
拜读了您的大作,很仰慕您的学识和才华,您很了不起!像什么如梦令啊,叠韵啊,钗头凤啊,忆江南啊,南乡子啊,转应曲啊等等,在您的笔下如行云流水,而七绝、五绝、七律、五律等古韵就更不用说了。真羡慕您!如果我要是能学会用这些韵律作诗该有多好啊!
如果有时间,在不给您添麻烦的情况下,lulu还请您赐教!学生这边有礼了!谢谢!
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白云闲人
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PostPosted: 2009-01-31 07:06:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

lulu ,你好,老师我当不起,我们一起互相研究共同提高.我的诗词知识是在校时,得一位古文学很有造诣的教授课余悉心指导而走上轨道.这么多年来,诗词歌赋伴随着生活,充实了业余生活,赋出了红尘的韵律,弹奏出感情的篇章!成了抒发胸臆的琴弦.但因天赋所限,写作水平并没提高,可我并不放弃,因笔下的平仄韵律是怀中博动的心声,就让它随着泼墨而斑斓吧!
lulu ,我感觉诗词歌赋之道重在"三多":一是多读(多读唐诗宋词);二是多写(多动笔赋就自己所闻所思);三是多交流(多与朋友们交流切磋,在交流中应是有碗数碗有碟说碟,好的互相学习,不足之处共同讨论具体点评,这样才有提高的机会.经过多番切磋.修饰.提炼.诼磨,那么一首好诗佳词就在挥洒中而成!当然朋友间的讨论定是诚心善意热切.)
我这么胡乱之说,请你不要介意! 互相学习共同提高好吗!
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lulu
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PostPosted: 2009-02-01 08:39:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
lulu ,你好,老师我当不起,我们一起互相研究共同提高.我的诗词知识是在校时,得一位古文学很有造诣的教授课余悉心指导而走上轨道.这么多年来,诗词歌赋伴随着生活,充实了业余生活,赋出了红尘的韵律,弹奏出感情的篇章!成了抒发胸臆的琴弦.但因天赋所限,写作水平并没提高,可我并不放弃,因笔下的平仄韵律是怀中博动的心声,就让它随着泼墨而斑斓吧!
...

lulu学习了!非常感谢白云老师的指点,还请多多指教!
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