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Maple Review Home -> 司马策风

现代城市搅肉机

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-10-29 09:10:23 Post subject: 现代城市搅肉机

现代城市搅肉机 **司马策风楼群如刀出鞘毁容了蓝天的脸庞汽车尖叫撕裂着神经网络霓虹闪烁旋转昏眩了众生百态大城市组装了一台高速飞转的搅肉机特权榨取汗水析出的沙金阴谋刺伤处女第一次睁开的眼睛友谊搅拌功利的烂泥爱情爬出酸腐的白蛆清晨推出一车车垃圾美酒过滤交易后的残渣阴沟奔涌一潮潮黑水贪婪腐蚀了破碎的良心落日如旧海中自恋的整理晚霞的连衣裙今晚不去书记的黑灯舞会就去市长郊外的别墅 2008，（10，1-10，14） _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2008-10-29 22:20:14 Post subject:

批判性强，但好像太露了点。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-10-29 23:02:23 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

批判性强，但好像太露了点。

周兄高见。的确有此嫌疑！

问好
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

晴宝儿
秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection

Posted: 2008-11-04 07:58:12 Post subject:

很强烈地暴露城市的暗影！ _________________ 晴宝儿

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-11-05 17:36:26 Post subject:

晴宝儿 wrote:

很强烈地暴露城市的暗影！

感谢宝儿美眉阅评！

司马送上万福！
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《北美枫》司马策风文集

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钓月
秀才

Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection

Posted: 2008-11-08 00:43:50 Post subject:

现代诗思若与唐风宋韵有机结合的话，当有一个突破！ _________________ 欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮 http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875 http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-11-08 20:57:49 Post subject:

钓月 wrote:

现代诗思若与唐风宋韵有机结合的话，当有一个突破！

感谢老兄阅评！你似乎有话未讲出来？如果老兄有任何高见，请

直接道出，诗友间若能坦诚交流，定能帮助提高！
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

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司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-11-10 18:31:28 Post subject:

请阅评！ _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

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