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<有一条小路,通向彩虹>
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-30 22:31:57    Post subject: <有一条小路,通向彩虹> Reply with quote

<有一条小路,通向彩虹>


亲爱的,我们准备出发
有一条小路,通向彩虹
风雨中,我终于找到

我们上路吧,雨渐渐小了
沿途静谧,空气清新
远方前行的是我们的伙伴

亲爱的,是不是再看一看
我们陈旧的相册
有你曾经少年的面容
有我曾经少年的时光
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-30 22:33:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

轻轻的

温馨的感觉
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 07:06:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

亲爱的,是不是再看一看
我们陈旧的相册
有你曾经少年的面容
有我曾经少年的时光

深情的,甜蜜的~
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 13:53:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

柔情诗人!!!问候迪拜诗人!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 23:42:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

1.虽然是仍然的边缘题材,但是这首诗歌,应该说是“偶遇”。

2.留下了想象和回味的空间

3.精致,短小,适合于朗诵。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-01 06:06:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

相比之下, 更喜欢这首诗歌.
寓情于朦胧比直抒情怀更具想象空间与感染力.
问好诗人
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-01 23:08:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢和平岛先生

谢谢半溪明月

谢谢杨海军

谢谢白水先生



其实,这样的更难写,也不常有。

偶尔得到,纯属偶遇。
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郭兴军
童生


Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 96
Location: 中国陕西
郭兴军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-02 21:26:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

干净洗练,诗风质朴但有味。学习并期待新的佳作。
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胜者为王。
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新华
秀才


Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 225

新华Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-08 18:34:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

清新,浪漫。我的东东已修改,是写帕瓦罗蒂的,我觉得还是以太阳为主语好,谢谢,远握。
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-08 19:38:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

精致的,简洁的~~
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踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-08 21:05:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

这样的诗歌也很好.与候机室是两种风格.

手法多变是能力
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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