迪拜 同进士出身
Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 1588
迪拜Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-18 18:50:50 Post subject: <湖> |
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<湖>
走了,在溪头的女孩
昨夜,暴雨
在这里,本来是没有的
断枝,长了三年的
昨夜,她抓着
旋涡,打在我的眼睛 |
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阿依琼裙 秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 920 Location: 废墟之上 阿依琼裙Collection |
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野航 秀才
Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 547 Location: toronto 野航Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-19 15:23:02 Post subject: |
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不错。留白很大。 _________________ 回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-19 16:13:50 Post subject: |
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久不见, 问好 |
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迪拜 同进士出身
Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 1588
迪拜Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-19 16:33:19 Post subject: |
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谢谢阿依琼裙
谢谢野航
谢谢白水先生 |
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博弈 榜眼
Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 4381 Location: SFO 博弈Collection |
Posted: 2007-07-19 23:48:41 Post subject: |
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女孩死了? _________________ (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美) |
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jemmy 秀才

Joined: 06 Jun 2007 Posts: 414 Location: china jemmyCollection |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
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子花 秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 722
子花Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-26 23:06:07 Post subject: |
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好的不说了:张力略显不足!!----以本诗的构思和内容来看!
不才,愿交流!问好诗人 |
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