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《面对尘埃,请献上你的高贵》
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-25 16:58:34    Post subject: 《面对尘埃,请献上你的高贵》 Reply with quote

那一刻,请低下你的头颅
为我们永远远行的兄弟姐妹
献上我们集体的哀思,默默呼唤
他们颤栗中不舍的泪光

这里没有伟人。他的手可能不如你的柔软
他的食物可能从来都是粗茶淡饭
他的衣服可能长年地陈旧着
可是,他们啊,生来就是我们的兄弟

你是否已经明白,我们前生寻找的呼吸
却刚刚停止,今天天堂的路上,那脉搏的
跳动依然啮合着我们继续的生生不息
放声地哭吧,只因再也抓不住那松开的手

所以啊,那一刻,请低下
我们集体的头颅
即使如尘埃,也请献上你的高贵
尔后,阳光照耀大地
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-25 18:35:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

面对尘埃,献上你的高贵
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-25 20:07:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

那一刻,请低下你的头颅
为我们永远远行的兄弟姐妹
献上集体高贵的哀思,默默呼唤
他们颤栗中不舍的泪光
.................面对尘埃,以一颗宽容心.
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黎阳
童生


Joined: 01 Oct 2006
Posts: 56

黎阳Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-25 20:23:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

作为抒情诗歌这是不错的作品,有真挚的感情,流畅的笔触.能在疼痛中不说痛,能在悲伤中隐含着哭泣最好.诗人不失为了让大家一起哭泣,是要在哭泣中团结,振奋.面对灾难要拿出推倒三座大山的力气
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-25 21:43:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

请低下你的头颅
为我们永远远行的兄弟姐妹
献上集体高贵的哀思,默默呼唤
他们颤栗中不舍的泪光
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-26 00:12:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢白水姐

谢谢赵福治兄

谢谢黎阳

谢谢海军

谢谢各位的阅读。
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戴永良
秀才


Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 194

戴永良Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-26 17:06:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

他们啊 ,生来就是我们的兄弟
我们前生寻找的呼吸
却刚刚停止
所以啊,那一刻,
请低下我们的头颅
面对尘埃,献上你的高贵
尔后,阳光照耀大地
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真诚 友爱 善良
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戴永良
秀才


Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 194

戴永良Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-26 17:06:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

他们啊 ,生来就是我们的兄弟
我们前生寻找的呼吸
却刚刚停止
所以啊,那一刻,
请低下我们的头颅
面对尘埃,献上你的高贵
尔后,阳光照耀大地
_________________
真诚 友爱 善良
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陈若祥
秀才


Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-26 18:30:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

一气呵成,气运流畅,感情炽烈!
"那一刻,请低下你的头颅
为我们永远远行的兄弟姐妹
献上集体高贵的哀思,默默呼唤
他们颤栗中不舍的泪光 "
欣赏了!


顺并请迪拜兄多指点我学生的诗歌,问好!
_________________
¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-26 23:28:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

所以啊,那一刻,请低下
我们集体的头颅
面对尘埃,献上你的高贵
尔后,阳光照耀大地

因你的诗歌我看到了希望!
_________________
踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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